


Of the Essence

by EnthusiasticSloth



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character(s) of Color, Drinking Games, F/M, Family Feels, First Impressions, First War with Voldemort, Fluff, Hufflepuff, Hufflepuff Marlene McKinnon, Humor, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Marauders' Era, Mild Smut, Pining, Potions, Potions Accident, Romance, Self Confidence Issues, Sexual Content, The Marauder's Map, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, biracial Marlene McKinnon, mentions of Sirius Black/Lots of people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 18:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 23,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15612009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnthusiasticSloth/pseuds/EnthusiasticSloth
Summary: Sirius and James semi-inadvertently invent a new potion. It's consequences to Sirius's personal life are anything but straightforward.





	1. Chapter 1

September 1977

  
  
They should never have been allowed to choose their own partners for this potions assignment. This endeavor was going to end with the names Sirius Black and James Potter in print. Either in future texts for brewing the potion to end all potions, or else in the Prophet, for being the cause of Professor Slughorn's nervous breakdown.  
  
A cauldron at the center of the mostly bare bones looking classroom held the two Gryffindors' attention.  
  
"I don't think it's supposed to make a noise, mate." James looked at the contents of the cauldron, a sort of muddy green slime, with a look of concern.  
  
"Maybe it was trying to tell us something." Sirius offered.  
  
"What would it want us to know?"  
  
"I imagine something about how I look fetching today. Thanks potion. You're so kind." Sirius gave an over animated performance of pointing and winking at the viscous liquid.  
  
"It sounded more like 'please put me out of my misery'. Really. Hand me that book. We had to have gone wrong… somewhere."  
  
"Well we're only 3 steps in. It can't be that bad. We'll fix it."  
  
"Ok ok it says here stir the substance, COUNTER-clockwise."  
  
"We've been stirring clockwise this whole time. Damn."  
  
"Well we have two options."  
  
James knew by the look on his best mate's face that he was crashing head first into some sort of shenanigans.  
  
"Is one of them that we just forget this and go do… anything that isn't this?"  
  
"No dear Prongs, it is not. We must either admit failure and start anew, or else we see our potion through. Maybe if we keep going with the clockwise stirring throughout, the result will be an improvement upon the original. You never know until you try."  
  
"Padfoot you've gone barmy. That thing isn't going to result in the improvement of anything. Especially not my appetite. It's actually a little sickening to look at."  
  
"Well well…James Potter isn't up for a challenge anymore. You can go then. I'm sure Evans wonders where you are. You haven't asked her if she'd like you to carry her books, or take her to Hogsmeade, or father her children, or anything in nearly an hour and a half. She might think you've met your untimely end."  
  
Sirius knew exactly how to get James to agree to just about anything. It was a time tested method. He smirked, sure of his win.  
  
"Sod off! Fine. We'll see this brew to completion. Give me the spider legs."  
  
It was over an hour before they figured out exactly what the potion was doing. It appeared to be… at least related to the concept of the assigned potion. Antidote for Amortentia. It was repellant.  
  
"Well… I guess we invented a new potion! This could be a good thing." Sirius shrugged, tilting his head, as if looking at the repulsive potion at a different angle would make it better.  
  
"No one is going to want 'Essence of Revulsion'. There's no use for it.  
  
"Well I, for one, think it could be very useful."  
  
Sirius imagined arming himself with it in case he was pursued by some particularly unpleasant girl. It would actually come in quite handy with his Dorothy McClaggen problem...  
  
"We're not suddenly a potioneers because you convinced me to keep going with this mucked up assignment."  
  
"We could be! Who ever became a potioneer without a little risk?"  
  
"We're going to get a T and possibly detention as well. I'm meant to be a role model as headboy, you know?"  
  
"Honestly. Such a pessimist."  
  
Lily Evans, head girl, and the object of James's affection for an unreasonably long time, stood inside the doorway. She looked at James expectantly.  
  
"I had to ask Remus were you were. We've got rounds to do."  
  
"Ok then. You heard the lady, Padfoot. I've got rounds to do."  
  
"Going all Headboy on me? Fine then. Maybe I'll take all the credit and glory for our potion."  
  
"Ok you can have it. I'd give up more credit and glory than the Essence of Disgust, or whatever you're going to call it, could possibly acquire just for a walk with the prettiest girl at Hogwarts. Shall we, Lily?"  
  
"Potter, you're ridiculous. I know you brewed that horrid thing too. But we have to go. So let's.."  
  
"The Essence of Revulsion. I like it" Sirius said to himself as James left him alone with their creation.


	2. Chapter 2

A Few Weeks Later...

Sirius wasn’t paying much attention to his surroundings. He looked down to examine the map as he headed down a corridor near the kitchens. He’d been so focused on avoiding blasted Filch that he hadn’t even realized that anyone was nearby. So for a minute it appeared that a giant mass of hair popped out of nowhere and collided with him. The loud clink clank clunk of books and various other possessions falling to the floor startled him. He brought his attention up from the map. 

“Gaaaahhh” 

The hair was attached to a girl. Hufflepuff, by the looks of her scarf. An angry Hufflepuff by the look on her face. Sirius had never seen an angry Hufflepuff before. This was quite a sight to behold. 

She’d actually be quite interesting to look at even if she didn’t currently look like she was thinking of ways to kill him. It didn’t hurt, but it probably wasn’t necessary. 

She was really small. Probably a foot and change shorter than Sirius to be able to collide with him at that angle. Her light brown skin was covered in freckles, which Sirius had never seen in combination before. Very pretty. Her hair was a huge mass of golden spiral curls piled on top of her head in a haphazard looking way. It looked like a family of pixies could be hiding within. Sirius had never seen more captivating hair. 

Wow. 

“What the hell is your problem?” The irate Hufflepuff’s voice was… remarkably cute? 

“You’re very pretty when you’re angry. Are you this pretty when you aren’t angry or will I have to try to be as irritating as possible all the time?”

Under the girl’s furrowed brow, her beautiful honey-brown eyes were completely filled with rage. For some reason this made Sirius want to laugh? Maybe this was what angry Hufflepuffs were like. Bizarrely endearing. 

She’d be a fun shag, he could tell. Better than the usual girls who tried to impress him or even worse, act impressed with him when he could tell it was rubbish. If this angry little badger was amenable though… that would be a welcome change.

“That was revolting. Does that actually work on anyone?”

Sirius has to shake his head and laugh. It was pretty bad. It was also true, but it wasn’t a very clever line. He ought to have been offended by her insult but in truth, it made him even more intent on winning her over. Maybe it was good that she didn’t seem to be interested at the moment. It would be fun to actually… get to know… this girl. 

Weird.

“Well, to tell you the truth I rarely have to try. I guess it was pretty bad. I could make it up to you. What’s your name, most beautiful Hufflepuff I’ve ever been insulted by?”

It wasn’t very often that someone other than his close friends gave an unbiased reaction to a dumb thing he’d said. He rationalized. In the unlikely event she didn’t succumb to his charms, maybe she’d be a good person to keep around as a friend. He really wasn’t great with making new ones. She was just his type of person though. He could tell. 

“Bugger off! I don’t want you to make it up to me. I want you to go away.”

She was like a baby animal attempting to appear ferocious, but only becoming more intensely adorable in the process. Sirius failed to contain his laugh. 

“Feisty. I like it.”

“Stop laughing at me. I’m really angry! You’re an arse.”

“Yes, my friends tell me so all the time. I’ve got some redeeming qualities though. If you’ll let me demonstrate…”

“Go. Away.” She pulled her wand. 

“Ok ok. I’ll go for now. But we shall meet again. I’m Sirius Black, by the way.”

“I would say that it’s been a pleasure, but it’s been nothing of the sort. On your way, Black.”

As Sirius headed up the staircase towards the fat lady, he couldn’t stop smiling. This was the most fun he’d had in quite a while.


	3. Chapter 3

Marlene McKinnon was closest with her family. They were a family of Hufflepuffs, so it was to be expected. She got on alright with the girls in the 6th year girls dormitory. But her closest confidants were always her 4 siblings. She desperately missed her oldest sister Elaine, who had finished school when she was just a 1st year. Secretly, she would even have liked to see her annoying older brother Gawain who was 3 years a older than the twins. She she was glad that Lucan and Grace were only 18 months her senior.

 

“Have you ever just looked at someone and automatically despised them?” She asked her sister Grace, a 7th year student.

 

“...are you ok, Marlene?”

 

Grace was unaccustomed to her youngest sibling despising anyone without a very good reason. She was the most studious of the Mckinnons so her mind jumped to wondering if NEWT level material was starting to weigh on Marlene.

 

“I’m fine. It’s just this strange Gryffindor walking into me in the hall and the minute I looked at him I felt irritated. It didn’t get better when he started talking.”

 

“Gryffindors can be a bit like that. But it’s not like you though. Who was this esteemed gentleman, who could leave such a strong impression on my sweetest baby sister?”

 

Grace messed Marlene’s hair. Marlene, in addition to being the youngest of the 5 McKinnon siblings, was the shortest. She took after her mother, who was just under 5 feet tall. This fact didn’t help with getting her elder siblings to treat her like a grown-up.

 

“He said his name was Black. Sirius Black, I think? I guess he’s probably in your year.”

 

“You looked at Sirius Black and got angry? Well… that’s different.”

 

“Different than what?”

 

Both of the sisters looked perplexed, as if they were each missing some vital piece of information.

 

“Than every girl in my year, for one. He’s quite… popular… it’s really irritating, actually. I don’t like him either.”

 

“Ah. He stole your would-be girlfriends, then?”

 

Grace was forever lamenting the lack of Hogwarts witches interested in other witches. She was beautiful and brilliant but still never had a date because of the incompatible orientation of nearly everyone around her. She planned to travel the world after she left school, and hopefully catch up for lost time.

 

“Shut it.” She glared.

 

“I really didn’t even notice what he looked like. It was like some sort of switch went off and I was blind with rage. Is he particularly good looking? He seemed to think so.”

 

“Right yes. He’s gorgeous and well aware of that fact.”

 

Even being entirely indifferent to wizards, Grace had to concede that Sirius Black was strikingly beautiful. His family were known for their good looks, in addition to being steeped in the dark arts. Sirius was different than his family in ideology, but not so much in appearance.

 

“Huh. Well. Perhaps it’ll knock him down a peg that he got shot down by a 6th year Hufflepuff.”

 

“Sirius Black propositioned you after running into you in the hall?”

 

“You seem shocked. That’s a little insulting, Gracie.”

 

Marlene seemed to think her sister had implied that she was not up to the standard of someone so popular, but Grace had actually just been surprised to hear Sirius Black had propositioned anyone. As far as she knew he was perfectly content to let people come to him. Because they did. In droves.

 

“It’s all very strange. But good on you if you thought he was a knob. Not everyone has to be into that whole… thing.”

 

Marlene shrugged. She really couldn’t quite remember what he looked like. Irritating? He looked irritating.

 

She supposed it didn’t really matter.

 

* * *

 

 

“Do any of you lot know any giant haired badgers?”

 

“...beg pardon?” Remus was the first to reply in the confusion that all three of the boys were feeling.

 

“Like really big hair. Curly. Looks like a human ray of sunshine. Hufflepuff house.”

 

“That’s the least helpful description that I’ve ever heard, Pads.” James chimed in.

 

“Prongs, I need to figure out this giant haired badger’s name! It’s vital to my continued existence upon this earth.” Sirius gave a performatively dramatic gesture of desperation.

 

“Lucan Mckinnon has massive hair. He’s the Hufflepuff who did that thing to the statues, you know him.” Peter offered.

 

“Grace McKinnon’s twin brother? Well the statue thing was good, but it can’t be him. This was a lady badger.”

 

Upon thinking about it, she looked a bit like Grace, one of the Hufflepuff prefects from his year. Grace was just more conventional looking. Not as tiny or freckled. Her hair wasn’t noteworthy. She was pretty but not particularly unique. Thus Grace McKinnon was not nearly as interesting as the badger in question. He’d seen the McKinnon twins’ white father and black mother at family days, and imagined those two people could have combined into the girl he’d run into.

 

“There’s a bunch of McKinnons. Probably all of them have that hair.”

 

“Grace doesn’t have that hair.”

 

“She does. She’s using my father’s potion in loads. I can smell it when she walks past.”

 

“Huh. Well. I could ask Grace, I guess.”

 

“Have you ever exchanged words with Grace McKinnon?” Remus felt sure his friend would have nothing to say to the very organized Hufflepuff prefect. She wasn’t a bad sort, but she’d probably have little patience for Sirius.

 

“She took house points from me that time last winter.”

 

“Ah. In that case she’ll surely want to give you information pertaining to her younger sister.” James rolled his eyes.

 

“I will find this badger, lads. I will not rest until I do.”

 

The other three marauders gave each other questioning looks, but ultimately shrugged and moved on with their day. Sirius would do what Sirius wanted to do.


	4. Chapter 4

Sirius stared down at a name on the map. Marlene McKinnon. 6th year Hufflepuff. Hogwarts most attractive witch, in his not-so-humble opinion.

 

It wasn’t  _ just _ because she was pretty. She was good looking but so were a lot of people. She was interesting. She’d been bluntly honest about his stupid comment and shot him down. He generally liked people who told him he was an arse. Those were the best people, without question. So all that considered, Marlene was  _ extremely  _ attractive.

 

He’d never actually slept with anyone he found particularly interesting. He wondered if it would be different. 

 

The whole pattern he’d developed regarding sex was fairly pathological. He’d known for a while now that he trying to fill a void. He wouldn’t admit that to anyone, and he could play it off as just a young wizard who gets around. The difference was that it was so  _ boring _ for him. He was absolutely sure it wasn’t meant to be that way. 

 

But the void was there and needed filling. His mother and father left a gaping hole in him where the self worth should have been. They were done with him now, but he wasn’t done with the damage they’d inflicted. If he could burn that off, like his mother had burned him off the family tree, he would have done it a long time ago. 

 

Sirius wasn’t an idiot and knew he was attractive and charming. The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black had given him precious little that could be considered a lasting gift, but this was one thing they couldn’t take away. He could maximize on his alluring looks to make himself worth something to someone. People wanted him. Parts of him, anyway. So when he gave them what they wanted, he didn’t feel completely worthless. He was good at giving witches (and wizards, if they were so inclined. Personally, Sirius wasn’t all that picky) what they wanted. Good enough that he had his pick of the lot of them. Good enough that he had power over them. He got to hear them cry out his name like he was  _ someone _ . He got what he needed, or just enough of it that he was able to keep going.

 

It had become so painfully boring… 

 

Marlene McKinnon, for various reasons, was anything but boring. He’d been immediately taken with the tiny firecracker Hufflepuff, and found it impossible to get her out of his head.

 

He needed to catch her when she was alone, but that was hardly a challenge considering the map. Only two days after learning Marlene’s name, he found her on the map, in the library, without anyone in her immediate vicinity. 

  
  


He’d have preferred to have gone unnoticed, but Lily Evans was in his path and he’d just have to deal with her. 

 

“Where are you going, Black?”

 

“Erm… studying.”

 

“Since when do you study?”

 

“Maybe I’m trying to better myself, Evans.”

 

“Ok well, now I  _ know _ you’re lying. Just tell me this; is James involved in whatever it is that you’re up to?”

 

“Oh, so it’s  _ James _ now? Not Potter?” 

 

Sirius paid attention to details. They were often really good tools for deflection. The head girl’s eyes darted around uncomfortably as if to avoid the embarrassment of the truth. That was solid proof that his tactic had worked.

 

“Carry on then…”

 

Sirius smiled thinking that his friend was finally making some headway with this girl. He’d only been pursuing her for… what...three or four years?

 

He wondered how long Marlene could hold out, as he found his way to the table where the girl sat, nose in a book.

 

He slid in next to her, just a hair too close. She looked up at him, confused. 

 

“Marlene McKinnon.”

 

Marlene hadn’t expected interruptions to her studying that evening. The sound of her name in an unfamiliar voice brought called her attention out of her charms textbook. There was a person sitting unusually close to her all of the sudden. 

 

“...yes? Have we met?”

 

“I’m wounded! Do you pull your wand on everyone who knocks into you in the hall? Here I was, thinking I was special.”

 

_ What. On. Earth. How? _

 

The wizard getting into her personal space was strikingly handsome. His coloring was high contrast. His eyes were a smokey storm cloud grey that was offset by his rather porcelain complexion. His dark wavy hair fell just below his chin.  The effortless grace in his posture, along with his refined bone structure, hinted at aristocracy. 

 

_ Of course this wanker is a spoiled little rich boy.  _

 

Still, Marlene’s sister hadn’t been lying or mistaken. She’d just missed his good looks somehow, the first time. Maybe because his personality was just that intensely off-putting?

 

“Oh right. I suppose I’d blocked the incident out. What do you want, Black?”

 

“Only the company of the irresistible witch who made me go through  _ all _ my channels to find out her name.  _ Marlene _ .”

 

“Who told you? I’d like to have words with them…”

 

Sirius wasn’t about to get Grace in trouble with her little sister, who seemed something of a spitfire. Grace had been kind to even bother with him. He wouldn’t give her a reason to regret doing so.

 

“Why, when you could have words with me instead?”

 

“I’m studying, Black. Why are you even here? I’m not interested.”

 

She was pointedly looking down at her book. She’d only barely glanced at him. That was her strategy? Weak. 

 

“Why can’t you look at me when you say that?” 

 

Like a puppet on a string she looked up at him. Gold-brown eyes met steel grey. He was going to win this. He’d get into her head and he’d grow on her. Eventually. 

 

“I’m. Not. Interested.”

 

He was a total knob and acted like he was some sort of royalty. Still… looking into his eyes was a little disconcerting. She felt uneasy with herself. Like if she let herself look for too long she’d end up giving in, which would be  _ stupid _ and uncharacteristic to boot. 

 

Marlene didn’t run off to broom cupboards with… anyone actually… but certainly not with wizards that she actively disliked.

 

“You aren’t a very good liar, Mckinnon. And you’re blushing.”

 

Sirius was quite pleased with his progress. If all he had to do was get her to look at him, this wouldn’t be hard at all. Sure, she probably couldn’t stand him, but she wasn’t blind. He’d work on her opinions of his personality once he’d won her over to in the more obvious manner. 

 

Reflexively, she looked away and brought her hands to her face, which was indeed, warm to the touch. 

 

“It’s alright, you know. I happen to think you’re very cute when you’re embarrassed.”

 

He genuinely did find this girl’s whole demeanor intensely endearing. It was a strange feeling. But at the same time, he was enjoying it. 

 

“I’m not embarrassed, I’m angry. You’re very irritating.”

 

That was half a lie. She was both embarrassed and angry. The fact he was gorgeous made him even more intolerable. 

 

“Come on, McKinnon, you’re having fun. Let me show you something.” 

 

He took her by the hand. She hadn’t thought he would be so bold as to touch her. She hadn’t prepared for the feeling of electric heat when he did. 

 

_ Fuck.  _

 

She rolled her eyes, but didn’t pull away. 

 

“What is it then? If I indulge you, will you leave me alone?”

 

“I doubt you’ll want me to, but sure.”

 

He dragged her by the hand into a fairly deserted corner of the library then pulled out some sort of folded parchment. 

 

“It’s a map. It’s one of the more diverting extracurriculars that my friends and I have achieved in our time here at Hogwarts. See, there’s us. And over there is Madame Pince.”

 

“Wow. I’ve got to say, I didn’t expect you to drag me off and show me… this. How long did this take? It’s… I’m actually impressed, Black. You’re still a tosser and all, but this map is top notch magic.”

 

“Thanks, McKinnon. But I didn’t bring you here to show you the map.”

 

She opened her mouth to answer back but she never got the words out. 

 

His kiss was softer and slower than she thought it should have been. She could have shoved him away and left. She probably should have. But her logic and reasoning were fighting a losing battle against part of her that was suffuse with excitement. She let her lips part for his tongue. Some sort of primal lust kicked in and her arms were wrapping around him, one hand grasping at the hair near the nape of his neck. She’d very nearly lost herself in the heat of it when he broke away. 

 

“Not interested?” He cocked an eyebrow. 

 

Marlene came back to earth and reminded herself of the rage she felt the moment she laid eyes on Sirius Black. Her instincts were rarely that far off. 

 

“Sorry Black, you’re still obnoxious. Cool map, though.”

 

“Ok then. Until next time, McKinnon.”

 

She thought she saw him smiling as he turned and walked away. 


	5. Chapter 5

_ Well bollocks. That’s inconvenient. _

 

Sirius had set out to get the upper hand on Marlene. He’d kissed her, both because he  _ really _ wanted to kiss her and in effort to get a hold on her. But he didn’t get a hold on her.  _ She _ had a hold on  _ him _ , and seemed more impressed with his map than his snogging. 

 

Which sort of made him want to kiss her even more? No one cared about the map. They cared about getting fucked to next Tuesday. Marlene wanted to look at the map. He wanted to show her the map. ...then  _ possibly _ fuck her to next Tuesday?

 

This wasn’t fair. He wasn’t supposed to be the one replaying the whole encounter in his head over and over. He was supposed to have control of this. 

 

Well… at least she’d liked the map? 

 

“Sirius?” 

 

He’d been entirely in his own head while he walked back to Gryffindor tower. Hearing his own name brought him out. 

 

“Huh?” 

 

Samantha Clearwater. 7th year Ravenclaw. She was one of the prettiest girls in the year but she could probably make Professor Bins seem like lively conversation, and he’d been dead for ages. She wasn’t even very nice. She was sort of a snob. As far as Sirius could tell, she had no outstanding qualities other than her looks. He wondered idly if that was how he seemed to other people. 

 

_ Probably. _

 

“You looked a little upset. Can I… do anything to cheer you up?” She bit into her bottom lip. 

 

He might have said no. If he hadn’t felt so… rattled by the whole thing with Marlene. If he hadn’t just  gone over in his head why he was genuinely not good enough, he could have just told Clearwater to bugger off. He really would have preferred that, really. But he felt the worthless emptiness inside him taking over and she was there, offering to take that away for a while. She was even a boring shag it turned out. He felt disgusted with himself. 

 

“Hey Clearwater?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Lets not do this again.”

 

* * *

 

Marlene had meant to get started on her essay for transfiguration, but instead she found herself staring blankly at the fire. Life had gotten a whole lot more complicated in the past week.

 

“Marls you’ve been very distracted lately.”

 

“Newt level Transfiguration…”

 

“I meant to ask you; did Sirius Black ever track you down? He asked me about you.”

 

_ Of course _ Grace would bring up that whole fiasco. Marlene was avoiding the subject, not only with her siblings and friends, but within herself. She wanted to forget the way his mouth had felt on hers and the brief moment where, instead of pushing him away, she sank into his kiss. 

 

If no one knew about it, it may as well have not happened.

 

“Oh? I uh… hadn’t thought he would bother.”

 

“So he didn’t find you?”

 

“No. Why would he? You told me that he’s quite popular.”

 

And now she was lying to her sister. She felt angry with herself. Where had all her morals gone? Since when was she someone who enjoyed snogging Gryffindors whom she personally disliked, and then  _ lying  _ to her  _ family  _ about it? If they knew they’d be ashamed of her. She was already quite ashamed enough of herself.

 

“I don’t know Marls, he seemed pretty intent on finding out about you. I’ve hardly spoken with him in 7 years of classes together and yet he asked me. I thought perhaps he was smitten.”

 

He had come off rather like an excited puppy when he approached Grace about her sister Marlene. It was odd, but she thought she liked that version of him better. Maybe she even approved of his strange newfound crush on Marlene, if it meant he was going to be less of an arrogant knob.

 

“Does he make a habit of becoming smitten with girls who tell him off in hallways?”

 

“From what I hear, and the girls in my dormitory are  _ quite _ talkative, he doesn’t make a habit of becoming smitten at all. I’ve heard all about his… talents… nonetheless.”

 

“Gross. He shags and drops? Of course he does. He seems just the type.”

 

“I guess. It’s more like he’s willing to indulge girls who were interested in him. The boys too for that matter. But, only so far. He’s pretty up front about that, it seems.”

 

“The boys too?”

 

Grace rolled her eyes. She thought having a lesbian sister would open Marlene’s eyes a bit to these things, but she still had to explain sometimes. 

 

“Come now, baby sister. You can’t be all that shocked. You should know that tastes vary.”

 

“Right. Of course.” Marlene mumbled. 

 

What did it matter? So, he had even more options available to him. Surely he could find someone more suitable than her?

 

“It’s neither here nor there, since he appears to be in active pursuit of  _ you _ … Really, don’t be surprised if he comes and finds you soon. He was acting very strange.”

 

“Maybe he’s just a strange person.”

 

He was strange and he should stop confusing her with his really interesting map and distractingly good snogging. She couldn’t almost convince herself that the kiss was just a weird dream. The fact she had dreamed about it afterward made it even weirder… but the git was a  _ very _ good kisser. And she’d only enjoyed it because she’d forgotten that she found him irritating. It wasn’t as if it was hard to stop it. Or as if she wanted more of that… 

 

“You’re a strange person.”

 

“I take after my elder sister.”

 

“I’m telling Elaine that you said that.” 

 

With that, the sisters collapsed into easy laughter. Marlene told herself that the lie wasn’t a big deal. She wouldn’t make a habit of it. Just as she wouldn’t make a habit of snogging Sirius Black.

 


	6. Chapter 6

She didn’t even look up from her her book. She had him completely hooked and she knew it.

 

“I was wondering when you’d come and find me again.”

 

She wasn’t alone all that often. She was generally with her brother and sister or else in classes. This evening, Marlene had found a quiet stairwell to read in. He couldn’t pass up an opportunity when he saw one.

 

“What made you so sure I would?”

 

“You did, didn’t you?”

 

“Sounds like not as quickly as you’d have liked.”

 

“You’re intolerable, you know that? I knew you’d find me because you have that map that tells you where everyone is. Surely you’d get bored and come bother me again eventually, right?”

 

He sat on the stairs, beside her. He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her in towards him.

 

“Oh am I bothering you?” He whispered, just before he kissed her jawline, then down her neck.

 

“You’d like me to stop?” He asked again, knowing that if she had wanted him to stop she would have gotten up and left well before now.

 

This is what he could do. This is what he was good at. He might never get her to like him or enjoy his company. But he could make her body cry out with want. That was better than nothing.

 

“Why do you have to be like this?” She asked in breathy sighs.

 

He was winning.

 

His lips climbed back up to meet hers. Her pretense of annoyance failed to hold up under his kiss. Her tongue was eager. She let out a beautiful moan when he caught her lower lip between his teeth.

 

When he slid a hand up her inner thigh, she broke away in surprise. Her eyes were darkened with unbidden lust. She was so beautiful; gold and radiant. She looked like the sun. She could have asked him for anything on earth and he would have wanted to give it to her.  It was almost physically painful for Sirius that this was all that he had to offer her.

 

His hand teased slow caresses higher and higher up the inside of her thigh. He could nearly feel the wetness forming on her knickers, when she stopped him.

 

“Stop... We could get caught…”

 

She’d summoned up every ounce of self control in her being to say those words. Marlene knew she shouldn’t crave his touch like that, but it didn’t stop it from being the truth.

 

“Don’t want to serve detention with me, Mckinnon?”

 

“Not particularly.”

 

“Well that ruins all my plans.”

 

“Your plan was to get detention?”

 

“With you. Because you’re a snappy little badger and I like you. I missed you. You’re hard to catch alone, you know that?”

 

He leaned in to kiss her again.

 

“I knew you’d try. See?”

 

“You caught me. But, if I can’t get you in detention with me, I’ll have to ask you for a date if I want to see you. So whatcha say, McKinnon?”

 

Marlene was taken aback. He’d asked her for a date? An activity where people spend time getting to know one another. Not something one would do with a person they couldn’t stand.

 

Before that she’d been a bit unclear if he was just out to get into her knickers. Maybe that was still the case. He couldn’t really have any delusions that they’d get along outside the context of the physical chemistry that was hard to deny at this point.

 

“Charming, Black. I think I’d rather serve detention with Filch and his cat.”

 

Of course. He’d suspected as much. Melting under his touch wasn’t the same as agreeing to let him know her.

 

But she wanted him. That was something. He would hold on to that.

 

“You’re lying. But it’s ok. I’ll see you soon, Mckinnon.”

 

* * *

 

  
  


“Prongs, did you take the vial of that potion out of my other robes pockets?”

 

“Why would I do such a thing?”

 

“Well maybe because it’s an incredible invention sure to make us famous. Or else because you wanted to get rid of all traces of it.”

 

“Well that second one is logical. I didn’t do it but I would love to thank whoever did.”

 

“Yeah it was probably Moony.”

 

“Have you gotten anywhere with your big haired badger mission?”

 

“Have you gotten a date with Evans?”

 

Sirius shot his best friend a look.

 

“Well… no… but… she’s warming up to me Pads! Really. I’ll get there.”

  
  


James had been at this song and dance forever, but Sirius was not used to being on the receiving end of all this. It was very strange.

 

He’d admitted that he wanted to take her on a date, and made it clear his intentions were not just getting in her pants. That was all foreign to him but he wanted it with her. Of course she’d shot him down. He didn’t even feel angry at her about it. He just felt… sad? The only girl who was vaguely interesting at the moment didn’t want anything to do with him.

 

The last of his essence of revulsion had been cruelly stolen, so he had to keep turning down dates with various interested (but uninteresting) parties. The fact he was turning everyone down was a bit disconcerting, but he genuinely didn’t want anyone else at the moment. He was completely hung up on Marlene. His friends would start to notice if he was uncharacteristically monk-like for long. That would be an uncomfortable conversation and he’d rather avoid having it.

 

It was so frustrating to want someone like this. This sort of thing didn’t happen to him. Sirius Black got what he wanted, at least in this department.

 

It was probably his own fault that Marlene didn’t want anything to do with him. He wasn’t exactly boyfriend material. That wasn’t even… something he did. He wasn’t good enough for Marlene. She probably wanted someone who didn’t have a void to fill. He didn’t blame her. He just… wished he were different.

 

He still didn’t find it within himself to give up entirely. He could try an even more direct approach next, perhaps.


	7. Chapter 7

Sirius didn’t really consider what he’d done  _ stealing _ . It was more like he borrowed James’s invisibility cloak. Just without asking and without the intention of telling him he’d had it to begin with if it could be helped.

 

The lengths he was going to in order to catch a moment alone with Marlene were getting embarrassing. He’d waited around for over an hour in total, first to get into the Hufflepuff common room and then the 6th year girls dormitory. 

 

Once he was there, it was easy enough to find Marlene’s bed and cast a silencing charm around the curtain. Then it was just more waiting.

 

“What the…” Marlene’s eyes got huge when she opened the curtain to her own bed and found it occupied by none other than a smirking Sirius Black.

 

He gestured for her to be quiet so as not to give him away. Despite her better instincts Marlene did just that. She slipped behind the curtain and spoke in a whisper.

 

“How did you even get in here, Black?”

 

“I have my ways.”

 

“Shhhh. My dorm mates will be able to hear you.”

 

“Silencing charm.” He gestured, tracing a ring around the bed, where he’d cast the spell. 

 

“You’re…”

 

“Intolerable?”

 

“Well I’m not sure that’s what I was going to say but yes.”

 

“You’d like me to leave then?”

 

She really  _ really _ didn’t. He was reclinded on her bed looking casual and effortlessly gorgeous. How was this fair at all?

 

“No! Don’t. Um… I mean… you’ll risk getting caught and it’s very busy out there right now. I don’t want to get in trouble because of your… creative sneaking.”

 

“Right McKinnon. I’m so sure you’re just trying to avoid detention.” 

 

He pulled her down by both hands, and she let out an involuntary squeal. 

 

His kisses were languorous and teasing. Somehow she felt like the wanting party, despite all evidence to the contrary.

 

Her body was nearly overtaken by the sense of burning need when she managed to pull herself away. 

 

She took a few breaths and tried to ground herself. This wasn’t how things were supposed to be. She’d been downright  _ mean _ to him in effort to make him go away and he still pursued her. Why her? Why when almost anyone else would have been less contrary about it?

 

She looked at him from a different angle and questioned her whole opinion of him. He really hadn’t been anything but continually nice, though relentlessly flirtatious, with her. He always went away when she firmly rejected his advances. The problem is she wanted less and less to keep rejecting, even though it would be really embarrassing to admit defeat at this point. It was hard for her to concede that her first impression was off but he was starting to grow on her. In no small part because he was a phenomenal snogger. But also because he really seemed intent on earning her affection, her despite her own stubborn flaws. 

 

“So are you going to tell me to leave now?”

 

“I think not. You’d better stay. I’d just um… rather not get too carried away.”

 

“Why not? I’d like to carry you away.”

 

He sat up and laved hot open mouth kisses down her neck, inciting a moan when he added his teeth to the mix. 

 

She needed to act normal. None of this was normal but she needed to act it, or her roommates would think she was acting strangely and check up on her, or worse, alert her brother and sister. She couldn’t let that happen. 

 

“I’m gonna get ready for bed. I don’t want to act like I’m up to anything. Hufflepuffs talk and if  _ anyone _ knows then my brother Lucan knows.”

 

“You’re ashamed of me, McKinnon?”

 

“Yes.”

 

She quickly slipped out from behind the curtain and made sure it was closed all the way. On the way to the bathroom to brush her teeth she pondered the fact that her tone came out teasing rather than genuinely discouraging. Was she… flirting back?

 

She felt acutely aware of her pajamas and how… not particularly sexy… they were. She’d put no thought into this fact before that moment. But now… he was going to see her in her beat up old shorts and sleeveless undershirt? Well… at least if her unattractive nightwear scared him off she wouldn’t have to worry about rejecting him again. 

 

When she eeked back in behind the curtain, making sure not to open it at all in the process, she felt sure this was a dream. It had to be a dream.

 

Sirius Black was shirtless with his lower body covered by the the blankets on her bed. 

 

What. The. Fuck.

 

“What?” He asked, clearly attempting to feign innocence.

 

“You were wearing clothes when I left. I’m quite sure I would have remembered if you weren’t.”

 

“Well you said you were getting ready for sleep. I figured if you don’t want me to sneak out...since you want to avoid getting found out and all...I should sleep here. You can’t expect a bloke to sleep fully dressed.”

 

“Uuuuuugh…. What was the word again? Intolerable. You. are. intolerable…”

 

“You seem to be tolerating me quite well, nonetheless. Or would you like me to go?”

 

He was clearly playing a game with her with his annoying beautiful eyes and stupid strong arms bare and looking like a work of art. He wasn’t just playing. He was winning. She was going to have to admit defeat for this round, she conceded.

 

For the first time in this whole… thing, she was the one who initiated the kiss. 

 

“Stay.” Was all she managed to say.

 

Sirius was in sodding heaven.  _ She _ kissed  _ him _ . She didn’t just avoid saying no, she finally admitted out loud that she wanted him to stay. Maybe she was starting to soften towards him. It seemed possible that using the tried and true weapons at his disposal in a more forward manner was going to do the trick. Her hands slid up his chest and around his shoulders as her mouth opened wider to let out a sigh.

 

He paused for a moment just to look at her. 

 

“Merlin you are beautiful…” 

 

He was contemplating how much of a lovesick idiot he sounded like when her posture changed. She averted her eyes and squirmed uncomfortably. She looked nervous all of the sudden.  

 

“Uhh… yeah… we should um… not…” she muttered in a very small voice.

 

“Are you alright?” He puzzled. 

 

Marlene felt so out of her depth. She was fairly certain that Sirius knew, or at least suspected, that she was inexperienced. She didn’t want to have to say it. It was awkward and made it seem like it was some sort of issue. She didn’t fee attached to her virginity in any way. She just hadn’t had instance to partake of the relevant activity before.

 

But now the instance was obviously presenting itself and she felt conflicted. On one hand she was completely overflowing with desire for more of him. More of his mouth on her neck… more of his hands on her thighs. More… ugh.

 

On the other hand she felt like a dirty little slag for wanting to give it away to a bloke she didn’t even want to admit that she  _ liked _ . That wasn’t the romantic ideal, now was it? 

 

“Are you… a virgin or something?” 

 

Predictable, that he sensed her anxiety despite the eagerness behind her kisses. Annoying. But he was like that. He seemed to see straight through her. 

 

“Yeah…” she mumbled under her breath, not looking him in the eye. 

 

He failed to contain a little laugh as he pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her mess of golden curls. He realized he was acting strangely but it all felt so right that he couldn’t stop it. Just like he couldn’t stop smiling. 

 

She didn’t want to shag him but she wanted him to stay. He knew that in theory he should have been a bit disappointed, but the idea was so exciting. She might not admit any affection for him yet, but wanting him to stay without the usual excuse was quite telling. He was so happy he could burst. 

 

“You’re laughing at me. Arsehole.”

 

“Only because you’re adorable. I might be an arsehole but I’m not in the business of pressuring sweet little Hufflepuffs to hand over their virginity. You don’t have to be nervous about that.”

 

“It’s not a big deal is it? I just haven’t done it before and thought this probably wasn’t the ideal scenario for the inaugural event…”

 

“I promise it’s fine.… but your wording is not. ‘Inaugural Event’? Really?”

 

“Better than ‘grand opening’ by a measure I’d say.”

 

The pair of them were laughing and Sirius was getting very concerned for his cardiac health. He’d never felt his heart in his throat and his stomach in the course of a single minute before. But that was Marlene’s effect on him, he supposed.

 

“So you want to go to sleep now, McKinnon?”

 

“Not sure I’ll be able to sleep.”

 

“Why’s that? I don’t snore or anything. You can even hog the blankets. It’s your bed and all.”

 

He smirked in that annoyingly sexy way that he did… Marlene had no defenses for this. She turned away, facing the curtain. 

 

“Well Black, let's think. There’s this naked wizard in my bed…”

 

“I am not naked, thank you very much. I have on pants.”

 

“Close enough.”

 

“Not for my liking.”

 

She buried her face in her pillow, poorly concealing her embarrassment. 

 

He took the opportunity to wrap an arm around her waist and lay his hand against her stomach. He kissed her bare shoulder and the back of her neck. 

 

This was all very odd. This wasn't what Marlene had expected he’d be like. What on earth has she done to inspire such tenderness? She wasn’t even nice to him. She’d have to figure out how to proceed with her life after this, but for right then, she laced her fingers with his. Eventually she managed to relax and drift off to sleep. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

“What the hell is on with you, Pads?” James asked.

 

Sirius had woken alone in Marlene’s bed that morning. She’d snuck out before he had a chance to ask her again for a date. But he felt sure he was making headway. So he had wandered the castle with the map that evening, hoping to catch her alone. He was unsuccessful. His friends had noticed his absence from the common room and were apparently not going to let it go. 

 

“Nothing. I don’t have to stay glued to you every minute of every day.”

 

“Right… but… you’re… smiling. It’s weird.” Peter narrowed his eyes, as if trying to inspect Sirius.

 

“I am not!” 

 

He was clearly lying. Not even a good lie. He thought back on it and he had been smiling more than was right or normal. He still felt unsure of where they stood after the previous night. But the fact it he was unsure meant there was a chance that he was growing on her. That alone was enough to bring on sudden and uncharacteristic cheerfulness.

 

“Padfoot has fallen in love!” James, ever the romantic of the four, proclaimed.

 

“Do not say such vile things in my presence. I thought we were friends.” Sirius made dramatic gestures indicating both disgust and outrage. 

 

“The lady doth protest too much.” Remus quoted something, Sirius wasn’t quite sure what. It might have been a muggle thing. Remus and Peter both had a muggle parent, and it kept things interesting.

 

“Moony, you know that I am  _ no _ lady,” He winked suggestively. 

 

“If you’re such a harlot then why won’t you tell us who you’re seeing?” James wasn’t letting this go. 

 

“Maybe I’m not seeing anyone.”

 

Sirius’s three friends simultaneously burst out into laughter. He had to join them. It was a hopeless effort to try to avoid it.

 

“When do we get to meet her?” Peter asked.

 

“I’m not sure who you’re referring to.”

 

“Is it the big haired badger?” Remus made an educated guess. 

 

Sirius groaned in annoyance. He regretted mentioning her to them at all. He hadn’t realized that it would turn into something that was hard to put into words. 

 

“Ding ding ding we have a winner!” Peter cheered loudly. 

 

“Why do you all have to be like this?”

 

“Because we love you Pads! You’re our brother in arms! Partner in crime! We have to know more about this big haired badger who stole your heart.” James was nearly as performative as Sirius himself. 

 

“Well for starters she has a name. Marlene McKinnon. 6th year.”

 

“You’ve gone all smiley over a  6th year Hufflepuff who you once described as a human ray of sunshine?” Remus looked skeptical.

 

“She is though! She’s like a little sunflower.”

 

“Aw... that’s sweet though, Pads. You should give her a sunflower.” James excitedly suggested.

 

“I don’t know if she’s quite there yet. As in she told me last week that she’d rather serve detention with Filch and his cat than go on a date with me…”

 

“Oooooo that’s harsh.” 

 

“It’s not really, Wormy. I’ve heard worse from Lily. That didn’t stop me.”

 

“I might be lacking in your… persistence.” 

 

“No way. She probably doesn’t realize you’re acting bizarre over her. But I’m your best mate and I know you. You’ve taken a fancy to this big haired badger in a way I’ve never seen from you before. You’ve got to send her a sunflower.”

 

“Fine Prongs. You’re the head boy and all. I have to listen to you. It’s the law…”

 

This was going to be ridiculous. He’d never made any sort of romantic gesture before and he was sure he’d fail at it tremendously. He’d resigned himself to taking  _ James Potter’s _ advice on getting a date, so things were looking pretty bleak. 


	9. Chapter 9

_ Marlene, _

_ I wanted to send you this flower because it looks like you. Sunflowers are both stronger and prettier than roses, I think. Additionally, it’s almost certainly a Hufflepuff. Look at it. You know it’s a Hufflepuff. I hope you like it. Maybe you’ll reconsider letting me take you on a date? _

_ -Sirius _

 

Marlene folded up the parchment that the letter had been written on. She didn’t even want her sister to see it. It was embarrassing. 

 

She felt like such a coward. She’d snuck away and avoided him because talking about the strange thing that has developed between them would have been hard. Even just thinking about it was uncomfortable. How could she talk to him about it when she didn’t even know what she wanted? She couldn’t reconcile the feelings bubbling underneath the surface with the image she wanted to portray. She was supposed to be sure of herself. Steady. Persistent. An exemplary Hufflepuff. 

 

She’d tried to tell herself it was all just confusion brought on by the intense physical chemistry they had. He was probably still a giant wanker and she’d just imagined the sweetness and sincerity. That line of self-delusion didn’t hold up to this flower. 

 

“You have an admirer.” Sandra Cresswell, a fellow 6th year Hufflepuff noted from across the breakfast table. 

 

“I dunno. It’s just a flower. Nothing really.”

 

“Who sends people sunflowers? That’s not very romantic. Aren’t roses the done thing?”

 

Marlene shrugged. Despite herself she felt defensive of her sunflower. He’d sent it because he thought it looked like her. That was more personal… and more romantic… but she wouldn’t say that out loud that would make it seem like she approved. Which she didn’t.

 

“Did it come signed?”

 

“No. I guess it’ll have to be a mystery sunflower then.” She lied. 

 

“Well, I guess it’s nice that someone’s thinking of you.”

 

Was it? She’d  _ almost  _ prefer to forget about the whole thing. She’d certainly rather not talk to Sandra about it. 

 

She managed to shut that conversation down but she wasn’t as lucky when her brother and sister dragged her to the corner table of the Hufflepuff common room. The twins were two sides to one coin. They were an unstoppable force together when working against her. She found the whole twin arrangement unfair. She’d taken the issue to her mum more than once. 

 

“You’re not getting out of this baby sister. Where is it?” Grace asked with the utmost authority. 

 

“Where’s what?”

 

“The love letter you received this morning. Word gets round.” 

 

Lucan was such a gossip. It was near impossible to keep anything from him. She hoped he didn’t  _ actually  _ have sources who could see through walls or he might know way more than she was comfortable admitting to anyone. 

 

“It was just a flower. No love letter. It’s nothing.”

 

Marlene felt sure that Helga Hufflepuff was rolling and restless in her grave. Lying to family… Pushing someone away for the sake of pride… Had the hat even made the right decision? 

 

“Right and I’m the Queen of England.”

 

“All hail her Majesty, Queen Lucan.”

 

“You’ve been acting very strangely, baby sister. It’s almost like you’re… happy… or something. Don’t think we haven’t noticed.” Grace sounded like she was making an accusation. 

 

“Am I generally morose?”

 

“No, of course not, but this is different. I catch you smiling for no reason.”

 

“Well maybe I’d been reading a good novel or something. Can I have some peace, now?”

 

“Why? So you can day dream about whoever sent you the love letter which you very clearly got?” Grace was quite confident in her assertion. 

 

“No! I will do no such daydreaming! I don’t even like him actually…”

 

“So you admit there was a letter and you know who it was from! Ha! Caught you.”

 

“Oh Lucan! I’ll bet it was Sirius Black. He asked after our dearest baby sister a while back, after our herbology class with Gryffindor. And you know she turned him down prior to that…”

 

“I still can’t believe you turned down Sirius Black…” Lucan looked horrified.

 

Marlene shrugged. She didn’t want to talk about it. It was weird. Sirius Black was weird. People weren’t generally so confusing. Why couldn’t he have been like other people?

 

“Marlene do you even know who he is? I’d think you’d probably be a bit impressed if you did.”

 

“He’s some Gryffindor who knocked into me in the hall and gave me some line about being pretty when I’m mad? I dunno. Is he some sort of wizard chess champion or something? What’s so great about him?”

 

She deliberately failed to include the subsequent encounters she’d had with him. She hadn’t told a soul about it, and would have preferred to keep it that way. Her brother and sister and Merlin only knew who else knew she’d told him to bugger off. It wouldn’t cast her in a very flattering light if they knew she had gotten overly fond of kissing him and then spent the night in his arms wondering if her whole concept of him was a mistake… 

 

“His brother is in your year. Regulus Black. He’s a right bigoted wanker, no? And from what I hear, Sirius was disowned over a year ago. He comes from a family of the very worst sort of blood supremacists. But he refused to be like them. He wouldn’t back down or pretend. So I guess that he hasn’t lived at home since before his 16th birthday. That’s… well… he might have given you a cheesy line… but you can’t deny the guts that must have taken.”

 

Marlene stared off into space. She hadn’t expected that. She thought he had just been some arrogant tosser who was used to getting whatever he wanted. 

 

But now her own family was trying to convince her that the Gryffindor who had held her and made her laugh despite herself was some kind of brave principled aristocrat who’d been disowned by his own family? 

 

They wouldn’t lie, of course. So it must have been true. But… that…why would he…

 

She felt so confused. Even more confused than she had before, which was no small amount. 

 

“I hate to admit it Marls, but Lucy is right.”

 

“Will I ever convince you lot to stop calling me Lucy at school?”

 

“Nope. Sorry, Lucy. But you were right about Black. He’s got principles. He’s not a bad bloke. Just annoyingly popular.”

 

Marlene let out an exasperated groan. She couldn’t process all this. 

 

“It’s ok Marls. You don’t have to… accept his weird flower offerings or whatever, but just know he probably means well. It’s entirely possible he’s never had to pursue anyone before.”

 

“Well that’ll be it then. I’m a challenge. That’s all. I’m sure he’ll get over the novelty of it.” 

 

She was sure that if he was really all that fantastic then he wouldn’t keep wasting his time on her, anyway. He’d find someone better.

  
  


Later that night, with her curtain pulled around her bed Marlene got out her sunflower, which she’d charmed to stay fresh, and looked at it. 

 

This was really sweet. No one had done anything like this for her before. 

 

She wished she remembered what exactly was so awful about him, the first time she’d met him. All she could remember was the feeling. The impression of revulsion stuck with her, rather than any sort of actual behavior that had been really awful. She put a lot of pride into her instincts being good when it came to judging a person’s character. How could she be  _ that _ far off base? What had it been?

 

She could think of several things that were not awful in the least…

 

The memory of his hands all over her sent a shiver up her spine. 

 

She wished he hadn’t gone and done that. It was better when she didn’t remember what he looked like. That was only the first hurdle, but it had been hard to reconcile the undeniable fact of being physically attracted to him, with the fact she’d wanted him to leave her alone. She had rejected him several times already and it would be embarrassing to swallow her pride like that. It would have been easier if he just left her alone and moved on with his life after the first time. 

 

It would have been easier but she couldn’t quite put her heart behind wishing it hadn’t happened. Worse than that, she kept hoping he’d find her again. If Marlene had the map, she was sure she wouldn’t have been able to stay away from him. She was going to have to admit to herself that somewhere along the line she’d grown fond of the irritating git. But she didn’t really want to draw attention to the whole bizarre ordeal and she wouldn’t go confront him in front of people. 

 

Besides, what would she even say? ‘I still don't know what to make of you as a person, but I do know that you’re absurdly hot so please come sneak into my bed again’? That would be unfathomably rude, especially after he’d sent the flower… She couldn’t be so callous to someone who liked her enough to find a flower that actually  _ did _ resemble her quite a bit. He was right. It was a Hufflepuff.  

 

Maybe Sirius Black wasn’t _ so _ bad.


	10. Chapter 10

At dinner the following evening Sirius’s eyes wandered to the Hufflepuff table. Marlene was sitting with her brother and sister. It was nice that they were close. They seemed like a really close knit family.

 

He felt a twinge of sadness about his own brother who he failed to save, but pulled himself out of that quickly. He refused to let himself go there, even in his thoughts, when he was around people.

 

Marlene had such a sunny smile. He wished she would smile like that at him. Or maybe he’d settle for her staring knives at him again. That was fun. Any scenario where she looked at him would be preferable to this. She’d had failed to acknowledge his existence at all since the other night.

 

What was stopping him from just going on over there? He was Sirius Black. He could go wherever the hell he wanted and speak to whomever he pleased.

 

But she’d ignored the flower.

 

But…

 

Oh for fuck’s sake.

 

“Where are you going?” Peter looked up from his dinner plate, confused.

 

“I have to go… talk to someone. See ya later.”

 

“Good luck with your badger then!” James shouted.

 

Sirius answered him with a rude hand gesture as he walked towards the Hufflepuff table.

 

“Marlene I think you’re getting a visitor.”

 

“Oh?” She looked up at her sister, who was sitting opposite her, confused.

 

“Sirius Black is headed over here. Clearly he isn’t coming to talk to me.”

 

“Uhhh…”

 

Before she could think of a plan she heard a voice from behind her and knew she was going to have to turn him down again… in front of her siblings.

 

“Pardon, I wondered if you’d mind budging up a bit? I wanted to talk to Marlene.”

 

5th year Carolyn Johnson looked like she’d been confounded. Mouth agape as she nodded and moved over to make room.

 

Marlene hadn’t looked up yet. She wasn’t looking forward to this.

 

“Oh, Hello there Mckinnon Twins. Grace, lovely to see you again. Thanks again for your help. Lucan, I don’t know if I ever told you, but the thing with the statues last year was legend. I was a little disappointed that I hadn’t thought of it myself.”

 

Lucan beamed, as if he’d been complimented by some sort of prankster royalty.

 

Marlene tore her eyes up from her plate to shoot her brother a look. He didn’t have to act so excited about this.

 

“So, Marlene. I guess my sunflower did nothing to persuade you to give me a chance. But I don’t give up that easily.”

 

“Clearly.” She said, still not looking.

 

“Are you alright? I was expecting to be told off again maybe, but I didn’t think I’d actually make you uncomfortable or anything. I can go.” The lightness in his voice was gone. As if he’d dropped a mask.

 

Marlene stayed her resolved and looked up.

 

This was really not ok. She should have been prepared this time but… those eyes. Bloody hell. He was so sincere. She didn’t have it in her to keep up appearances of annoyance.

 

“No, I’m not uncomfortable. I don’t actually make a habit of telling people off, you know.”

 

“So I’m special then?” He smirked. The mask of playful banter was back in full force.

 

“Ha...that’s one way to put it.”

 

She felt the warmth rising up here cheeks.

 

Dammit. Get yourself together Marlene.

 

“I wondered if you’d sit with me at the upcoming quidditch match? That way even if you aren’t completely won over by my increasingly desperate attempts to earn your affection, at least we’ll get to trade interesting insults about our respective quidditch teams.”

 

She couldn’t find it in herself to say no. It would have been dishonest and shooting herself in the foot to shield her own delicate ego. She might have to answer for her change of heart to her siblings later but for then and there she decided to just… have fun with it? He was absurdly good looking, kissed like his life depended on it, and maybe was not entirely an arse, after all? It couldn’t hurt to make jabs at his quidditch team, if that’s what he wanted.

 

“Well it’s not our fault that your keeper has more holes than a Swiss Cheese.”

 

“That would imply that that your chasers have a chance of getting control of the quaffle, which is, as we know, laughable.”

 

“You sound pretty confident about a team that got completely annihilated by Ravenclaw last month. That was tragic. Almost painful to watch, really.”

 

“So you’ll come?”

 

“I suppose I will.”

 

Marlene found herself smiling, despite being sure when he walked up that this was going to be miserable for all parties.


	11. Chapter 11

“Pads, where are you going? We’re sitting over on the far side.” 

 

“Sorry lads. I have a thing. Go on without me.”

 

Sirius had stayed intentionally close-lipped about his upcoming date. He didn’t want to take the ribbing his friends would surely dish out. There was also the issue of not wanting to get his own hopes up. And the fact he had hopes was a little disconcerting. Before today his hopes regarding witches had consisted mostly of “hope she’s a decent shag.” Or “hope she doesn’t cry because I’m not suddenly in love with her.” Or even more commonly “hope she doesn’t bore me to tears”.

 

But with Marlene he already knew he was quite taken with her and even more uncharacteristic was the fact he’d pursued her. 

 

He spotted her in the crowd. She still looked like a golden sunbeam, with all her curly hair reflecting the light and adding to the halo effect. 

 

_ Godric...she is beautiful... _

 

“So, Black, you ready to watch your house go down  in flames?” 

 

Her smile was bright and effortless. His chest did a thing. It should stop doing that. 

 

“I was under the impression that I came to watch the Hufflepuff seeker get an eye exam. Because she clearly needs one.”

 

“Huh, well while they’re at it maybe they could check to see if your beaters have some sort of impaired reflex problem. It sure looked like it with Ravenclaw.”

 

“Oooo that was cold, McKinnon.”

 

“I do my best.”

 

He was still a little caught up in admiring Marlene’s freckles when a voice interrupted him. A female voice.

 

“Sirius. Hey I went to look for you by the others and you… weren’t there.”

 

Samantha Fucking Clearwater. Maybe the Ravenclaw was smart under the 30 layers of boring. Sirius didn’t know. Or care. He mostly just wanted her to go away before she made Marlene think poorly of him. 

 

“Well spotted, Clearwater. As you can see, I’m here with Marlene. Is there a problem? Some possession of mine on fire at this very moment?”

 

He’d tried to tell her that he wasn’t into it. That whole ill advised encounter had served only to remind him of how much he only wanted  _ Marlene _ . It had been an attempt at a quick fix…but none of that mattered. What mattered was that she leave. Now.

 

“Well no… but I thought maybe we could meet up after…”

 

Dammit. She had to be like that. In front of his very obvious date. He should have turned her down flat ages ago. This was really embarrassing. And entirely his own fault.

 

“I think not. I’m busy, Clearwater. Do you mind?” 

 

He didn’t watch Samantha Clearwater sulk off, but instead turned to Marlene. He took her hand out of instinct, before realizing maybe he shouldn’t do that. She didn’t pull it away so he guessed it was alright. 

 

“I’m sorry about that… that was… unfortunate.”

 

“My sister says that’s the story of your life.”

 

“Oh?”

 

Marlene had asked her sister about him. Well… that at least indicated she thought about him? He thanked every star he could think of that he’d never shagged Grace McKinnon. She may have been the only 7th year Hufflepuff witch that he could say that about.

 

“Yep. She’s a little jealous. Of you. She’d like to be swimming in female admirers, but finds herself sadly single.”

 

That would be the reason he’d never shagged Grace McKinnon. Thanks again stars. Send Grace a very pretty girlfriend please? 

 

“Well I don’t think she’d want Clearwater. That bird is about as interesting as a lecture on advanced ancient runes given by the depressing Ravenclaw house ghost.”

 

“Oh Morgana... Their ghost is  _ so  _ depressing. I almost feel bad that ours is so jolly. But then.. not really. I’m glad we got the good one.”

 

“Nearly Headless Nick is a riot thank you very much!”

 

“Well he’s no Fat Friar but he seems alright. I will agree that he puts the Grey Lady to shame.”

 

He was still holding her hand, he realized, during a very loaded silence.  

 

He really wished the ridiculous excited puppy instincts would get themselves under control because he was supposed to be cool or something. 

 

“I thought the sunflower was sweet, you know.”

 

Marlene couldn’t hold it in any longer. She hadn’t acknowledged it, but that really had been a major factor in changing her mind. She was glad he’d done it. 

 

“You did?”

 

He seemed shocked.  

 

“You said it looked like me. That was nice.”

 

“I thought perhaps I’d accidentally insulted you or something. This has all been… different.”

 

“Yeah no kidding. You’re much less of a knob than I thought.”

 

“Setting very low standards and then exceeding them is my middle name.”

 

“Well that must be terrible when you have to fill out ministry forms.”

 

Marlene was attempting to stay calm but she was growing more infatuated by the minute, despite all her attempts to avoid that fate. 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Marlene had not expected that her 6th year would involve so many interruptions to her attempts to study NEWT material. She considered confining herself to her dormitory, but then…some of the interruptions were more welcome than others. 

 

The female voice that brought her attentions out of her charms notebook, was not welcome in the least.

 

“How long have you been seeing Sirius?”

 

Of course. It call came back to him, didn’t it? 

 

“Errr… Do I know you?”

 

“Come off it. You know very well who I am.”

 

Oh right. The girl who had interrupted their date. The one Sirius said was dull. Marlene smiled, remembering the joke about the Ravenclaw house ghost. 

 

“Well I know that you’re rude, but other than that…”

 

“He’s playing some sort of game with you. You should know that.”

 

She spoke as if she were some sort of authority, despite the fact Sirius hadn’t indicated any reason that she would be. He seemed to find her irritating? What would she know about him? 

 

“Do you even know him?”

 

“You think you’re the only girl he’s shagging? I know you’re a Hufflepuff but… come on… be realistic.”

 

It felt like a punch in the gut. But it was her own damned fault, she realized. Marlene had let her guard down. She’d known there was something off with Sirius Black, and she’d let herself get distracted.

 

Clearly not as distracted as this girl, who had a wrong picture in her head. But… this was all a mistake. 

 

“I’m not… you know what… thanks. I’ve got studying to do now, if you don’t mind.”

 

The older girl looked very satisfied with herself as she walked away. Marlene couldn’t understand why. If she thought it was unrealistic that he’d even keep to one bed, why would she even bother?

 

Now the thought of Sirius finding her again made her stomach lurch. This wasn’t going to be a fun conversation. 

 

* * *

 

“Guess who...”

 

She felt hands covering her eyes and braced herself for this uncomfortable encounter.  

 

“I’m really not in the mood for this, Black.”

 

“Ouch. I thought you no longer wanted to set me on fire. But the look on your face says otherwise.”

 

“Maybe you should go bother Clearwater.”

 

“Why on earth would I do that?”

 

He seemed genuinely baffled, bordering on horrified, by the suggestion. 

 

“She told me you were shagging her. Which is all well and good, you made no promises to me… She’s welcome to you. You can leave me alone, however.”

 

“Shit.”

 

“Right. So… hurry along…”

 

“No Marlene… I’m not… it’s not like you think.”

 

“So, you  _ aren’t _ shagging Clearwater?” She rolled her eyes, irritated at the attempt to make excuses.

 

“I did. Once. It’s not an ongoing thing, like she seemed to have made it appear to you. I didn’t… I told her I didn’t want to see her anymore. She knew that before the quidditch match. She just wanted to scare you off, probably.”

 

“Well this is all a bit much for me.”

 

He wanted to explain that he wasn’t just a thoughtless cad, he was a train wreck with self-worth issues as far as the eye can see. But he couldn’t. It would make her back away even faster. He’d felt so… happy as when he thought she was giving him a chance. He wasn’t the sort of person who got to feel like that very often. He didn’t know what to say to make her stay, so he fell back on his usual weapons. 

 

A gentle brush of her cheek and deliberately meeting her eyes. Stepping in so close he could count her individual freckles. 

 

“Marlene…”

 

“I’d only just decided that you weren’t a total arse and then… maybe it’s best if you just…”

 

He saw her resolve vanishing into dust just as he leaned in to kiss her lips. He tried to channel everything he couldn’t say into kissing her. Could a kiss really tell her that he was desperate and damaged, but she made him feel alive? That she was different? 

 

“Marlene…” 

 

“You have my attention.” She looked up, still annoyed around the edges. 

 

“There’s no one else. As long as I think I stand a chance with you… there’s no one else.”

 

“You think you stand a chance, do you?” A smile started in her eyes and grew from there. 

 

“You know the tree that Gilderoy Lockhart carved his own face into? Down on the lake side of the green houses?”

 

“Who could forget?”

 

“Can you meet me there? After dinner, tonight?”

 

“You’re still intolerable, you know that?”

 

“But you’ll be there.”

 

She stood on her toes to reach up and kiss him quickly. 

 

“If you insist.”

 


	13. Chapter 13

The sky was cloudy and moonless that night. Sirius lit the way with his wand over the bumps and brush near the Hogwarts Great Lake.

 

“Hildy. It’s been a while.” Sirius greeted the giant squid, as he sat at the edge of the lake.

 

“Who are you talking to?” 

 

Marlene’s voice rang out from behind him, causing him to startle.

 

“You’re sneakier than you have any right to be, you know that? I was just saying hi to Brunhilda, the giant squid. We’re old friends.”

 

Marlene stepped into the light Sirius had conjured. Her smile was enough to knock the wind out of him. When did she start smiling at him like that?

 

“I don’t know how you can be such a nerd that you have a name for the giant squid and still have everyone convinced that you’re some sort of dark and mysterious Byronic hero. My brother Lucan had kittens about it.”

 

Marlene actually preferred him as a nerd who named the giant squid and sent her sunflowers. He was cute. Like a puppy. 

 

“Oh? I went for the wrong Mckinnon. Maybe I’d have had an easier time with Lucan.”

 

“Undoubtedly, but that wouldn’t have been any fun would it?”

 

Marlene sat down beside him, taking his hand in hers. He felt more nervous than was entirely rational. 

 

“So I’ve got the map, if you wanted to see it. Or we could just sit and chat with Hildy. She’s a great listener, I’ll have you know.”

 

“I’ve wanted to see the map since you first showed it to me. That… must have been quite an undertaking.”

 

“Well it was a team effort. We worked on it here and there starting in 5th year. Finished it up last year before the Christmas holiday. I think I had more fun making it than I have using it to be perfectly honest.”

 

“No I mean… all that nosing around actually sounds like a grand old time. Did you find anything that you’d really rather not have?”

 

“Well I know all about Professor Flitwick’s naughty book collection and more about his tastes in that arena than I would prefer, but all around it was… educational.”

 

Marlene’s cringe turned slowly into a giggle. 

 

“Who’s where right now? Show me.”

 

“As you wish, then.”

 

He pointed his wand at the map and muttered what sounded like a password. 

 

“Up to no good, eh?”

 

“What? We have standards in Gryffindor! Can’t have anyone using it for non-marauding purposes.”

 

“Who on earth is ‘Lames Pevans’?” 

 

Sirius punched the air in a celebratory gesture. 

 

“That was a bug in the map, but in this case is means my best mate has finally got the girl he’s been after for… seemingly an eternity.” 

 

“You’ll need to explain.”

 

“Allow me to demonstrate. Here. You keep your eyes on the map ok? See where we are. Marlene McKinnon and Sirius Black. Right next to Brunhilda.”

 

“I like that you labeled her.”

 

“Of course I did, Mckinnon, what sort of thoughtless monster do you think I am? Hildy and I go way back.”

 

He handed her the map to hold and got to work planting tiny kisses all over Marlene’s face. 

 

“Marlirius Blackinnon” Marlene read from the map. 

 

She set the map down, but Sirius continued his task of showering her with kisses on the bridge of the nose and both eyelids, then finally lingering on her lips. 

 

Sirius was flying blind. He’d never felt compelled to kiss anyone’s nose before. Marlene had a really kissable nose… She was laughing and then kissing him back with a gusto, so it couldn’t have been so strange. 

 

It was a little like Padfoot licking someone about the face as a form of affection, but he was having fun so he tried not to second guess it. 

 

“I think someone’s coming. Shit. It’s past curfew. We’ll have detention for ages...” Marlene pointed at a spot of light approaching, directly behind Sirius.

 

Sirius grabbed the map and checked quickly, then let out a groan of frustration. 

 

“It’s worse than detention. That’s my brother…”

 

“Oh? Is that bad? Do you… not get on?”

 

“You might say that it’s complicated. I’ll um… I’m sure I’ll have time to explain later. Go hide behind Gilderoy.” He gestured to the tree, which was indeed, adorned with an elaborate carving of the visage belonging to 4th year Ravenclaw Gilderoy Lockhart. The kid was… well…he had a flare for the dramatic. 

 

“Do I really have to hide from your brother?”

 

“Yes. Go. I don’t want anyone to hurt you because of me… go. Now. We’ll talk later.”

 

Marlene got up and crept behind Lockhart’s face carving. She hastily cast a disillusionment charm on herself while she watched the younger of the Blacks approach. 

 

Even from the distance, Marlene could see the resemblance between the brothers. She hadn’t really noticed before. She didn’t spend much time around the Slytherin boys in her year anyway. Regulus, at very least, kept unpleasant seeming company. 

 

Sirius hated when people had the power to really hurt him. Regulus was one of a very small number who still could and would. He braced himself before meeting his brother’s eyes. So like his own… 

 

Regulus has always been the better son. The son his mother wanted. Perfectly willing to do just as he was told without questioning. 

 

It would have been easier if Sirius could have hated him. But it wasn’t like that. Instead, when he saw his younger brother walking past the greenhouse, he was staring down his own greatest failure. 

 

He couldn’t hold himself back, in the rare instances he found Regulus by himself. Sirius couldn’t bring himself to give up.

 

“Reg”

 

The younger boy stopped in his tracks. 

 

“What do  _ you _ want?” His tone was dripping with disgust. 

 

“I’m still your brother. I want to know if you’re safe. You know our uncle died and left me money. I can get you out if you need a place to stay. You don’t have to do what she says Reg…”

 

He knew he didn’t have much time. Regulus would never listen for long. But a part of Sirius had to make sure that he knew. He couldn’t live with himself if he passed up an opportunity to let Reg know that the door was still open.

 

“I’m perfectly safe. It’s you who’s in danger until you ask for mother and father’s forgiveness.”

 

“You know that isn’t going to happen, Reg.”

 

“Rumor has it you’ve been seeing the younger McKinnon girl. Mother would accept her, you know. They’re a pureblood family in good standing. Not an old one but good enough. If you went home and apologized you could have your family back.”

 

“Regulus I don’t choose who I spend my time with based on their blood status. I really don’t care if mother would accept Marlene. I would like my family back, or at least my brother. But that’s on you, not me.”

 

“It’s a bit little late for that. I’ve made my choices. The Dark Lord will take care of his own.” Regulus lifted the sleeve on his left arm. Sirius felt like he’d lived this all out in a nightmare. The Dark Mark was bright red against his younger brother’s pale skin. 

 

“You could have… been better than them…” 

 

Sirius was fighting off waves of dizzying nausea. His vision went blurry and he didn’t even see his brother throw the punch. 

 

“Don’t speak to me again, blood traitor.” 

 

His cheek stung as he watched his brother, the boy he’d failed to protect, walk away. 

 

It couldn’t have been much longer before he heard footsteps. 

 

Marlene. 

 

“Sorry you had to see that…” he mumbled 

 

“Shhh… there’s others. It looks like he was meeting them. Crouch, I think? That really oily looking 7th year Slytherin? Some others as well. We need to get out of here.”

 

Marlene took him by the hand and started walking briskly back towards to castle, in the opposite direction of the huddle of Slytherins. 

 

“Oily looking. I knew I liked you.” Sirius couldn’t help but laugh. He hated that nasty little bugger and it warmed his cockles to hear Marlene call him oily looking.

 

“Yes, that was apparent with the grand romantic floral gestures. Is your face alright? Shall I bring you to Madam Pomfrey?” 

 

“I’ll be fine. The worst of it is that I’m all embarrassed in front of my new girlfriend and the arsehole messed up my face so now I can’t even distract you with my good looks.”

 

“Oh so you think I’m your girlfriend now?” Marlene smirked.

 

“Mmmmhmm. You’ve seen my family  _ issues _ in action now, and you’re still speaking to me. That surely makes you my girlfriend.”

 

“Hey Sirius? It’s ok you know… you’re really brave to come from a family like that and decide to be better.”

 

He didn’t know what to say, so he said nothing and stopped her in her tracks with a kiss. It felt more complicated now than ever. He’d never actually been part of a proper couple before. He wondered how this was supposed to go. He’d probably have to talk to her about it one day soon. But he didn’t want to have any more uncomfortable conversations that day. It had been entirely enough of that. 

 

“Do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me on the Saturday after our exams? I’d like for you to meet my friends. And uh… I’d like to meet yours as well. If you’re not embarrassed of me.”

 

“Yes, you’re very embarrassing, but I think I can handle it. I’m closest with my brother and sister and you’ve already met them. I suppose I can introduce you as my boyfriend if you’d like to watch Lucan have another litter of kittens?”

 

“Well I do like kittens.”

 

“Really? You seem like such a dog person.”

 

“You have no idea…”

 


	14. Chapter 14

The Friday evening before the Hogsmeade trip, both Sirius and Marlene finished their final exams for the term. They planned to celebrate together but Marlene was a little skeptical of the venue. Sirius had asked her to meet him after curfew by the statue of Gregory the Smarmy. It was a surprise, he said. She has to laugh a little, but Sirius knew the castle inside out and backwards, so he’d have some reason for choosing the place. 

 

When she arrived to find him there waiting, she soon found herself being lead into a hidden corridor. 

 

“Where does it lead?”

 

“Just some weird cave in Hogsmeade. We don’t have to leave the castle, though. It’s cold, anyhow.”

 

“There are passageways to Hogsmeade just strewn about?”

 

“At least seven, that I know of.”

 

“You’re… something… you know that?”

 

“Mmm that sounds like an improvement from ‘intolerable’ doesn’t it?”

 

“Perhaps.”

 

The corridor was dim, with only light from Sirius’s wand, but she was at least aware of her surroundings when he sat on the floor and pulled her down into his lap.

 

The two months that had passed since he’d first kissed her in the library did nothing to calm the flutters in her chest and the racing of her pulse when he touched her. She couldn’t quite get used to it, though they were a proper couple now. She still felt taken aback by just how breathtakingly attractive he really was. The physical magnetism was especially intense in these rare instances where they had real privacy.

 

She was probably staring at him like an idiot she realized. She stopped the staring and commenced with the snogging. She figured she could. He was her boyfriend now and all. Access to his top notch kissing was one of the perks.

 

Shocks of nervous excitement flowed through her when his hands slid under the hem of her sweater, touching the bare skin of her waist and around her back. He paused, breaking their kiss and looking into her eyes. 

 

“Problem?” She asked, trying, and probably failing to appear calm. 

 

“You’re very jumpy. Am I… rushing you? I don’t really know how this is supposed to go…”

 

“I’m pretty sure you know exactly how it’s supposed to go.” 

 

She decided to be bold. Transfiguration was her best subject, after all. She conjured a comfortable looking bed with confidence and efficiency. She was proud of her correct assessment of the size it would need to be to fit into the space. Once she was satisfied with her work she cocked her head towards the newly conjured bed gave him a gentle push back. Once she had him where she wanted him, Marlene propelled herself into another kiss. This uncharacteristic boldness was a last stitch effort to avoid having this conversation. 

 

It only delayed the inevitable for a few very nice moments. 

 

“No I mean...I know what to do obviously… but… you’re different. It’s all been very… casual...Before you, there was never anyone that I actually cared for…” He was clearly uncomfortable as well, so at least she wasn’t the only one who was awkward about this all. 

 

“Really?” 

 

It seemed like he was a little sad over his statement. She got the feeling there was more to it than just being promiscuous for the sake of a good time. But she didn’t want to pry. He’d told her there was no one else and that was all that mattered. Besides, it was nice that he said he cared for her in a roundabout sort of way. She cared too. It was annoying how much she’d begun to think of him. 

 

“Yeah. So I’m a little clueless and you’re very clearly nervous and…”

 

“Right. But… uh…You aren’t rushing me. Don’t worry. I want to. You care about me. You won’t hurt me.”

 

“You trust me that much? Wow. You’re… incredible Marlene. Did I mention this is really impressive conjuration? You’re brilliant. And beautiful. And my little sunflower.” 

 

He punctuated his comments with kisses all over her face. He was completely gone for her and there was no stopping it. He wondered how long he’d be able to keep it to himself. He didn’t want to scare her off.

 

“Your little sunflower?” She giggled. 

 

“You don’t like it?”

 

“I do actually. And I like you.”

 

“Do you know the charm? Do you want me to…?”

 

“Yeah, you should do it. I don’t want to chance and you’re well aware that I’ve um… never done it before.”

 

Sirius drew out his wand and pointed it just and inch or so below her belly button and muttered the protective charm. It wasn’t taught at school officially but everyone would have at least heard of it by 4th year. Her sister had even lectured her of the importance of remembering it, as soon as she heard her accept a date with Sirius. That had been a bit premature, of course. 

 

The nervous energy was contagious and built upon itself. They were both screaming internally while they laughed and kissed. Once the contraceptive charm was cast, the set aside their wands in favor of the more organic process of fumbling with buttons. 

 

Marlene found herself undressed down to her underthings and being gawked at, which made her feel even more naked, if that was possible. 

 

“You shouldn’t be embarrassed. You’re perfect…”

 

Sirius heard the words coming out in his voice, but he couldn’t believe he’d allowed himself to say them. He was doomed…

 

Before she could protest his mouth was crashing down hard on hers. Their kisses quickly became desperate and ravenous. 

 

She’d known she wanted him for longer than she’d known she liked him. He was insanely beautiful and kissed in a way she wasn’t aware was possible before. She’d only ever had awkward and uncomfortable kisses before and figured it was just nothing to write home about. But she could have written 3 foot essays describing all the things she felt when Sirius kissed her. It was undoubtedly some form of magic, despite the fact their wands were safely tucked away in a far corner. 

 

He said things that almost made her cry from the overwhelming… emotion… of it all. 

 

_ Perfect? _

 

Sirius paid fervent devotions to all of her previously untouched skin. He had her out of her bra in seconds. His mouth was hot and wet laying claim to her breasts. She shivered beneath him, whimpering as he traced the outline of her waist down to her hip bone, urging her to rid herself of her knickers. 

 

With one hand he guided her knees apart and teased gently up her thigh until he paused, meeting her eyes, asking a silent question. 

 

Marlene was practically swimming in arousal as she nodded in consent. She remembered how hard it had been to tell him to stop the first time he’d attempted to touch her like this. 

 

She had no such misgivings this time. He looked right into her eyes as he coaxed her up to the height of all consuming desire. 

 

It was only when she was near sobbing, desperate for release that he took his hand away and kissed her softly before re-positioning himself above her.

 

He was dizzy with need, but it wasn’t like anything else he’d ever felt. It was more complicated. 

 

“I don’t want to hurt you. If it’s painful we can stop, ok?”

 

She nodded, and kissed him fiercely to urge him forward. She gasped when he pierced inside her but then relaxed into the rocking motion. The heat that started low in her stomach grew stronger. Fiery sparks of elation took hold all over her body. 

 

They looked into each other’s eyes and kissed the whole time, until Marlene was soaring over the edge. The pleasure written all over her face as she gasped and writhed prompted Sirius to lose control. 

 

They spent several moments as a messy tangle of limbs and bliss before rearranging themselves. 

 

“So…” Marlene awkwardly broke the silence 

 

“Yeah…” Sirius replied just at uncomfortably.

 

They both relaxed into laughter. 

 

“Do you want to stay here tonight? With me? I don’t want to go back to Gryffindor if this is an option.”

 

“I think my bed’ll hold up at least a day or until I vanish it. We can stay. I’d like that.”

 

He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into his chest. In the past he always felt compelled to leave after sex. He’d make excuses and be on his way. That was just the way things went. But with Marlene, staying with her, holding her while they drifted off to sleep, felt like the most natural thing in the world. 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to preface this chapter with a content warning. There are references to a minor character being sexually harassed by a death-eater. It happens off page, but I still thought it was better to warn for it. As always, feedback is much appreciated and I hope anyone reading this is enjoying it!

It was early Saturday morning when Marlene woke. So early that probably only the kitchen elves were up and about. Sirius was asleep beside her. Her heart ached at the sight of him, bare chested and beautiful. 

 

She felt like a total idiot, staring moonstruck at him while he slept. Surely this wasn’t as big of a deal for him. He’d been with lots of people and though he said he’d never had a girlfriend maybe he was just… trying the whole thing out. She shouldn’t have let herself fall so quickly. But it was really hard not to when he was around every corner being so sweet and treating her like she was special somehow. 

 

She sighed. She’d let it be for now. In time she’d figure out whether she was just a passing fancy for Sirius. She could wait for confirmation that wasn’t the case to offer her heart up for crushing.

 

She when she got up and dressed she saw the map was lying by their wands. Her curiosity got the better of her, and she didn’t think Sirius would mind her peeking around to see what route would be safest to take in her very first “walk of shame”.

 

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good” She pointed her wand at the map and whispered down to it. 

 

With that, the map came to life. She was still impressed by this. He was really a lot smarter and a lot nicer than he pretended to be… ugh… it was impossible not to love him a little. 

 

She looked for her own name on the map and spotted it. No one was nearby. A few students were up and on their way to breakfast by the looks of it. Her sister Grace was in the stairwell near Hufflepuff Basement. What was Aramis Avery doing there?

 

“Graramis McAvery?” She muttered to herself. 

 

That couldn’t be right. That was what the map did when people were kissing. Maybe he knocked into her or something. Grace would never. She didn’t even like blokes at all, much less nasty blood-supremacist snakes. It was surely some sort of fluke. She folded up the map and looked back to sleeping Sirius. 

 

She felt compelled to wake him and kiss him goodbye before she snuck back into Hufflepuff basement. 

 

“Good Morning beautiful…”  he whispered as he opened his eyes.

 

If Marlene were watching this happen to someone else she would find it disgustingly sweet. Since that wasn’t the case however, all she could feel was happiness. 

 

* * *

 

The 7th year Hufflepuffs of both sexes had grown quite used to her presence in their dormitories. It came with being a McKinnon. As Marlene waited on her sister Grace’s bed for her to return, she pondered her own nervousness about next year. Her siblings and her boyfriend were all a year ahead. She’d be terribly lonely. 

 

“Gracie, what on earth were you doing in the stairwell with Avery this morning? I saw it on Sirius’s map and I thought it must have been a mistake.”

 

“Map?” 

 

“He’s got this wicked amazing map of the castle and grounds that tells him where everyone is.” 

 

“Well that’s not creepy at all…”

 

“Gracie you didn’t answer my question.”

 

“He cornered me. Gave me some rubbish about how I was the only suitable match for him in our year. His father told him he needed a pureblood virgin, you see.”

 

“That’s revolting. You know I heard something very like that last week? Sirius’s brother…”

 

“Your boyfriend’s brother came onto you with some weird archaic marriage talk? Are you even a virgin still?”

 

Marlene could feel nervousness creeping up her chest making it hard to breathe. The topic her sister was broaching was never a comfortable one with her siblings, even though they were her best friends. She’d even come here thinking she’s discuss the previous night amongst other things, but it was still… uncomfortable. She elected to dodge the question.

 

“I was just a bystander. He told Sirius that I’d be suitable, is all. Sirius was appropriately horrified and said my blood status didn’t matter to him and such. Then Regulus punched him in the face and fucked off.”

 

“Well that’s all very dramatic.”

 

“Right you are, Gracie. But what happened with Avery? Did you tell him to get buggered?”

 

“He got…uncomfortably familiar and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I told him I’m not even interested in wizards, and he seemed to take that as a challenge.”

 

“Oh gross. I’m so sorry. Did he hurt you? Are you alright?”

 

“I’m fine. I hexed him to within an inch of his life. You needn’t worry baby sister. He won’t touch me again.” 

 

“He’d better not.”


	16. Chapter 16

Sirius looked on while James futzed about with his hair and clothes, as if Lily Evans didn’t already know exactly what he looked like. 

 

“Mate, you’re overthinking this.” Sirius rolled his eyes at his friend.

 

“Well I might say you’re under thinking it! You’re wearing  _ that? _ ”

 

Sirius looked down at his muggle clothes. He thought the leather jacket was cool. And didn’t everyone wear jeans with holes in them? What was the point of wearing jeans if they didn’t look like they’d been in a war? 

 

“Yeah. What’s wrong with it?”

 

“Nothing if you like the whole Muggle dumpster look…”

 

“Perhaps I do.”

 

“Well then…” James cringed, disapprovingly, in his best friend’s direction. 

 

So the 7th year Gryffindors, in their vastly different attire, headed out to the courtyard to meet their dates. Both Sirius and James were brimming with excitement, though either would be loathe to admit it out loud. 

 

Their respective dates looked much in sync with their own style of dress. Lily was in a very pretty understated long sleeve dress. Marlene wore a denim jacket that looked like it had seen better days. Her yellow boots were as bright as her smile. Her hair was as it always was; a lifeform unto itself. 

 

Sirius thought she looked perfect. 

 

“Marlene, you’ll recognize the head boy and girl, James Potter and Lily Evans. Sometimes present on the map as Lames Pevans. Lames, this is my beautiful girlfriend, Marlene McKinnon.”

 

“The big haired badger who stole Padfoot’s heart.”

 

“It seems like vaguely unflattering nicknames are these boys specialties…” Lily pointed out.

 

“And these two stragglers are Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.” Sirius gestured in the direction of the other two Marauders, who approached.

 

“It’s lovely to finally meet you Marlene. Sirius has been acting very strange lately. I hope you’re proud of your accomplishments.”

 

“Are you saying that he didn’t act strange before?” Marlene teased.

 

“Fair point…I like this girl. We should keep her.” 

 

“I’ve promised to meet the band of merry badgers. Would you lot like to come along? 

 

“Well, I’ve always wanted to spend a Sunday with a band of merry badgers! What are we waiting for?” James’s enthusiasm was contagious amongst the group of 7th year Gryffindors. They all knew the McKinnon twins anyway, so it wouldn’t be too strange, Sirius reminded himself.

 

Marlene lead Sirius by the hand down the hill a ways, to where her brother and sister were waiting. The rest of the group trailed behind them.

 

Grace McKinnon’s gaze felt like having Mad-Eye Moody look at you with his magical eye. She looked at the young couple as if she were searching for something in their posture or aura. They looked at each other with a silent question of what the hell she was getting at. 

 

“Well then. I see that rumors of Black’s successful acquisition of our baby sister’s virtue are not without basis in fact.”

 

She busted out into easy laughter which Marlene mirrored. Sirius stood by looking perplexed at the sisters. 

 

“Oh please… that isn’t even a rumor. Don’t be ridiculous Gracie. She’s just trying to be as embarrassing as possible, Sirius. Don’t mind her.”

 

“Of course it’s a rumor. I may have started it myself!” Lucan elbowed his younger sister in the ribs. 

 

“So everyone knows brother Lucan? He’s the one I told you would have been the easier catch amongst the McKinnons still here at Hogwarts.”

 

“You called me easy? Rude. And I don’t even swing that way.”

 

Sirius silently thanked the stars for another Mckinnon sibling who was of incompatible orientation. Because surely if Lucan McKinnon had actually been interested then he would have already been down that road. All the Mckinnons were quite good-looking. He was glad not to have to face that awkwardness in this already strange uncharted territory.

 

_ Thanks again stars. _

 

Sirius thought the Sunday afternoon in Hogsmeade was going quite well. He and his friends all seemed to be getting along with Marlene’s close in age brother and sister, and watching her interact with all of them was a treat. She was quick and witty. His chest needed to get its act together right now or he was going to sabotage his own reputation with all this… giddiness. 

 

They hadn’t finished their picnic yet when trouble found them. Specifically, trouble in death eater masks. 

 

There were four of them approaching, so the group of students doubled them in numbers and it shouldn’t have been much of a challenge all things being equal. But they never were. It was anyone’s guess who was behind those masks. 

 

“What do we have here? The meeting of the filth and blood traitors society?” The male voice was familiar. Lestrange maybe?

 

Sirius threw up a shield in front of himself and his friends as soon as he could grasp his wand, but not before he heard Grace’s scream. A slicing curse hit her straight across the face. She was bleeding. There was no time to evaluate her wounds. 

 

“Think you’ll be able to be so choosy with a face like that, Mckinnon?” Another male voice growled. 

 

Grace realized this was Aramis Avery. She stood up from where she’d fallen bleeding and shaking with anger, drew her wand and cast another shield in front of Sirius. 

 

Cries of “Incarcerous!” and “stupefy!” rang out behind Sirius. James hit one of them with a stunner but it didn’t stick. The Death Eaters were too quick. 

 

Lily Evans sent a stinging hex in Avery’s direction and it hit him dead on.

 

“You nasty little mudblood. Did no one ever teach you to respect your betters?” 

 

The witch who held her wand up to Lily was unmistakable as Sirius’s own cousin Bellatrix. He felt sick to his stomach as his close blood relative cast a confringo at the tree they were using as shade. Lily and Peter both fell under the weight of it. James and Remus, seemingly unharmed, cast another set of protective spells and darted to where their friends lay injured. 

 

“I’ll hold them off. Get them to Madame Pomfrey.” Sirius, standing at the front of the group, yelled back to the others after casting another protego. 

 

“Lucan, take Grace.” Marlene met eyes with her brother, who nodded. 

 

He took his wounded twin sister by the hand and apparated the two of them somewhere out of sight, hopefully near to someone who could get her medical attention. James and Remus followed suit with Lily and Peter, respectively. 

 

Sirius looked back at Marlene to tell her to get to safety, but before he could get a word out, everything turned red. Pain. Nothing but the pain of thousands of poison needles beneath his skin. Then it was like fire. It was only when he was released from the cruciatus and he felt the soreness in his own throat that he realized he’d been screaming. 

 

“Until next time, cousin.” Bellatrix spat at the ground near where he was still reeling from the torture curse.

 

The four Death Eaters disapparated, apparently having achieved what they came for. Those goals were quite opaque to Sirius, but it was hard to put thoughts together at all. He could see the outline Marlene’s gold hair but was having trouble focusing in as she knelt in front of him. 

 

“You idiot…” were the last words he heard before he passed out. 


	17. Chapter 17

Marlene sat in the infirmary between the beds of her sister and her boyfriend. To Sirius’s left was Lily Evans, who had several broken bones from the explosion, and then Peter Pettigrew who’d come away with at least a concussion, if not worse. All four of their party who had been injured lay unconscious for the the moment. A traumatized looking Remus Lupin sat staring into space at the far corner of the room.

 

This was complete shit. Death Eaters in Hogsmeade? Was this what the world was like now? Would they always have to watch their backs?

 

Perhaps she’d been sheltered by her family. As the youngest of the five, with her eldest two siblings and brother in law in magical law enforcement, she’d always felt safe. But it was hard to feel safe when not an hour ago she’d watched Sirius cruciated and her sister Grace taking a slicing curse to the face for… turning some slimy git Slytherin down when he tried to chat her up?

 

These people weren’t just evil, they were also petty, apparently.

 

There had to be something she could do. If this was the way the world was going to be she had to prepare. If that meant spending more time with her brother Gawain than she otherwise would have liked to, so be it. He was the best of them at defense. He would help, even if he was a pain in the arse in the process. She loved him even when she didn’t like him very much.

 

She saw Sirius stirring and coming to. Things certainly had gotten intense with him.

 

“Hey.”

 

“Hey yourself. Are you feeling alright?”

 

“Yeah, much better now thanks. But Death Eater attacks only two months in. I’m really mucking this all up.”

 

“Is fighting off a group of pissy Death Eaters more of a 6 month relationship activity? Or would you say a whole year is preferable?”

 

Sirius laughed despite himself as he reached for Marlene’s hand.

 

“How are the others?”

 

“Lily’s really banged up. She may have to stay over the holiday to heal fully. Peter hit his head and may have a concussion. Grace will be alright. It’ll leave a scar and there’s nothing that can be done about that. Madame Pomfrey said the curse was modified to infect the wound so it would scar. That might have been the whole point of the attack. Grace told Avery to get lost and this was retaliation.”

 

“That’s revolting…Why would You-know-who even care who tells Avery to get fucked? They must have just been looking for a reason. I’m sorry Grace got hurt. She didn’t deserve it. I’m sorry…”

 

“You-know-who wants everyone scared and letting his followers do this sort of thing to people who cross them spreads exactly that sentiment. Avery and scum like that think they own the world and get angry when they’re told otherwise. The masks probably make them feel invincible…” Marlene trailed off.

 

“I’m sorry… I wasn’t quick enough.”

 

“Sirius… you’re such a Gryffindor honestly… stop it with the savior complex. You dropped your shield looking back at me.”

 

“You should have gone with your brother and sister. You could have been hurt. What if they’d tortured you?”

 

“Then you’d be here lecturing me like a total hypocrite. Just like now. Except with me in the bed and you over here in this chair.”

 

“You never hesitate to call me out on my shit.”

 

She shrugged and smiled back at him.

 

He really was so lucky that she’d warmed up to him. Not a lot of people were willing to be so bluntly honest with him, without a hint of cruelty. Marlene wasn’t a cruel person, and she pointed out his hypocrisy because it was important for him to understand. Because she cared about his safety like he cared about hers.

 

Strange.

 

He wasn’t used to much of anyone caring about him outside of the circle of friends he’d had for nearly 7 years. It was actually a bit frightening.

 

Was it possible for something be frightening in a good way? If it was, that was exactly what he felt about Marlene as she looked down at him and squeezed his hand.

 


	18. Chapter 18

Marlene, being a year behind Sirius in school, had not yet taken apparition classes or passed the test for her license. So he offered to come get her from her family’s home to bring her to the Potter’s vacation house, where the Marauders were having their annual New Year's Eve get together. This year they were up in numbers by two, with Marlene and Lily. Their presence would inevitably make the two nights spent at the beach house more interesting, Sirius thought as he approached the Mckinnon family’s front door. 

 

Mrs. Mckinnon, who he’d never properly met before but recognized, answered the door. She was very petite, like Marlene. Her skin was several shades deeper and her hair was kept short, but Marlene’s resemblance to her mum was obvious nonetheless. 

 

“Good evening Mrs. Mckinnon. I’m Sirius Black. It’s lovely to meet you. I believe Marlene is expecting me?”

 

He may have dressed in what James referred to as the “Muggle Dumpster look” but he still remembered the social niceties that had been beat into him (sometimes literally) as a child.

 

“Come in Sirius. Please call me Elspeth. None of this Mrs. Mckinnon business. My Marlene has told us all about you. She’ll be down shortly.”

 

Elspeth McKinnon lead Sirius into the parlor, where Grace, Lucan, a wizard who must have been their older brother, and Mr McKinnon all sat. Sirius had mentally prepared himself to face all sorts of family scrutiny but the warm smile on Mr McKinnon’s face as he stood up seemed to tell him that there was no need for all the nerves. 

 

“You must be Sirius!” The Irish lilt in the wizard’s voice was easily perceptible despite his many years of residence in London. 

 

Sirius had not expected for his girlfriend’s father to hug him upon making his acquaintance. But he was a hugger too so he decided not to question it. 

 

“Good to meet you Mr. Mckinnon.”

 

“Please. It’s Angus.”

 

“Alright, Angus. Happy New year various Mckinnons. Grace, would you mind checking on Marlene for me?”

 

Before Grace had even fully risen from the sofa, Lucan shouted out in a vaguely upward direction. 

 

“Maaaaarlls! There’s a nervous Gryffindor in our living room. I think he belongs to yoooooou.”

 

“You didn’t have to do that Lucan…” The elder McKinnon brother commented, giving his younger brother a stern look. 

 

“That’s Alright. I expected much worse. Marlene’s only encounter with my family involved a cousin in a death eater mask.”

 

“Bellatrix Black, right? I’m in my 3rd year with the Aurors. We’ve got quite a file on her.” 

 

“Yes, that’s her.”

 

“I’m Gawain. Glad to meet the White sheep of the Black family.” He smiled and offered his hand, which Sirius shook. 

 

Just then, Marlene made her way down the stairs. Her red velvet mini dress with black tights clashed with her usual boots, but that didn’t stop Marlene. Sirius loved that about her. She didn't put herself out for the sake of convention. Plus, he thought her boots were cool.

 

“I heard something about a nervous Gryffindor?”

 

“That would be me. You look lovely, Marlene. Are you ready?”

 

After assuring her parents that Sirius would have her back sometime the morning of the second, and grabbing her overnight bag from beside the stairs, the couple said their goodbyes and were out the door on their way.

 

Sirius took Marlene’s hand and apparated to the yard of the Potter family’s beachfront cottage. Once they were there, neither made movements to head inside. They broke their loaded silence with a laugh. 

 

“I see you got my Christmas gift.”

 

Marlene instinctively reached to touch the necklace, which consisted of 7 diamonds of various sizes set in the shape of Canis Major. It still felt a bit foreign on her neck. She had never owned a real piece of jewelry before. Sirius had sent a small package on Christmas morning. It had been wrapped in gold paper, and her brothers and sisters (and to some extent her dad as well) took the mickey out of her when she opened it. 

 

“Mmmhmm. It’s a bit like being branded. But it’s beautiful and I love it.”

 

“You love being branded? That’s quite naughty coming from my sweet little sunflower… I’m shocked!” 

 

Marlene rolled her eyes, before wrapping her hands around the back of his neck and standing on her toes to plant a quick kiss on his mouth. 

 

“Why are you smiling?”

 

“Because I was thinking of how strange you are.”

 

“And this makes you happy?”

 

“I suppose it does.” 

 

“You’re absurdly beautiful... if you keep looking at me like that we’re never going to make it inside.”

 

Marlene was beaming as Sirius closed the space between them. His kiss was so gentle and sweet it made Marlene’s heart turn somersaults in her chest. She melted into the sensation. His hands grazed over her waist and down to her hips. Marlene had serious doubts about her will to go inside and be on time for this party. 

 

A tiny whine escaped from her when he broke away. 

 

“Do not laugh at me!”

 

“I wasn’t… ok I was a little… but not in a bad way?”

 

“So I guess you’re going to say we should go in now? I can’t keep you away from your friends?”

 

“Something like that. Besides, you look like you’re going to freeze.”

 

“I’m sure you’d think of some way to keep me warm…” she winked as Sirius lead her to the door.


	19. Chapter 19

Once everyone had arrived, Remus suggested a drinking game to keep them entertained while the clock counted down to midnight. 

 

Sirius rolled his eyes. Of course Remus would suggest it. He could drink everyone under the table. It was one of his werewolfy consolation prizes. 

 

But they all agreed. 

 

The premise of the game was for each person to name something that they have never done, and if any of the others have done the named thing, they have to take a shot of Ogden’s. 

 

Sirius was fairly sure he’d be good and trollied before Lily Evans even got a buzz. 

 

And poor Marlene… 

 

“You don’t have to play. I know these are my friends and you don’t know them all that well. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” He lead her to a corner away from the group and whispered in her ear. 

 

“It’s ok. I can’t think of a better way to get to know them actually. And I’ve never had Firewhisky before, so this’ll be fun.”

 

“Be careful. You’re my little sunflower. I don’t want you to get sick.” He tucked a stray curl behind her ear and kissed her forehead. It was all close friends here and they were well aware of his recently developed case of near-fatal sappiness. 

 

“You’ll take care of me.”

 

“Was that supposed to be mind blowingly sexy? How about we forget the game and find our bed?”

 

“Aw we get to share a bed tonight that’s right. It’s silly but I really liked sleeping next to you…”

 

“You can sleep right on my chest like a little kneazle if you’d like.” 

 

Marlene looked over at the group of four, pointedly avoiding looking over to them, but clearly cringing at the moment going on in their presence. 

 

“We should go tell them we’ll play.”

 

“Yeah yeah. Alright you lot. We’re in.”

 

“You needed to make dramatic declarations of love before you played a drinking game, did you?” 

 

“Shut it Moony.” Sirius glared at his friend, even though he knew it was basic Marauders code to take the piss at any opportunity. He hadn’t actually said the dreaded four letter word. Though it was probably stupidly obvious to everyone, Marlene included.

 

“So since Prongsie is our host he should start us off.” Peter suggested. 

 

“Alright then. Thanks Wormy. So… we’ll get the big ones knocked out first and I’ll be creative later. Never have I ever had sexual intercourse.” 

 

“That’s some extremely technical terminology you’ve got there Prongs. No wonder Evans is still holding out.” He winked at Lily. She was a good sport. 

 

He continued and poured two shots of Ogden’s. Marlene’s blush would have been visible from across a Quidditch pitch. Sirius shrugged apologetically. It wasn’t as if any of this group didn’t already know. He wouldn’t point that out.

 

“One for me as well. Totally your fault, by the way. It was sodding Samantha Clearwater. I’m pretty sure her motivation was to get back at you somehow?”

 

“Good Godric, Moony. I’m so sorry.” Sirius barked out a laugh. That witch was off her rocker.

 

“One for me as well. For the same reason.” Peter stared off into the distance in a show of disappointment. 

 

Sirius barked out a wicked laugh at that point. Sweet Morgana...Even Wormy? 

 

“Evans, you’ve gotta have a heart now. Even Wormtail has parted with his virginity. James is the very last of his kind.”

 

“Yeah because I turned down Samantha Clearwater! Don’t think she didn’t try.”

 

This witch was on a mission to disappointingly shag all his friends? What a weird form of revenge. 

 

“You weren’t missing anything mate.” Peter patted James on the shoulder, still making a show of how horrible the encounter had been.

 

“Is she that terrible?” Lily asked, skeptically. She knew the Ravenclaw was fairly annoying in classes but she was quite pretty. 

 

“YES.” Sirius, Remus, Peter and Marlene answered in unison, before taking their shots.

 

Marlene started giggling as soon as the flames in her mouth had calmed. 

 

“That made it sound like  _ I’d _ slept with Samantha Clearwater. Not the case. I just can’t stand her. She was horrid to me and insulted my house…”

 

“Well we all know why that was.” Lily rolled her eyes in Sirius’s direction. 

 

“You go next Evans.”

 

“Fine then. I’ve got a good one. Never have I ever kissed or should I say… been kissed by... Sirius Black.”

 

Several groans let loose from the Marauders. Marlene looked questioning at Sirius, as four shots were poured.

 

“What? Dogs are affectionate creatures!”

 

“You should have to take one too Pads. We know you’ve kissed yourself in the mirror.” James added while pouring a 5th shot. 

 

“Well, it was only out of necessity. Prewett dared me to kiss the prettiest person in the room you see…”

 

He conceded and took his shot of Ogden’s with the others. He was already starting to feel the alcohol’s effects taking hold. He was least grateful that Marlene was going to be just as ridiculously drunk as he was when they finished this game. She was sitting so close to him that it took nothing for him to pull her into his lap and kiss her whiskey flavored mouth just briefly before continuing with the game.

 

“Alright my turn. Never have I ever seen that Muggle Film with the pew pew zoom space wars stuff. You know. The one you lot are all obsessed with.”

 

“You’ve never seen Star Wars?” Marlene looked horrified.

 

“Oh no. Not you too…”

 

“You have to see it Pads! See! Even your badger thinks so.” 

 

Everyone other than Sirius took shots. He still had no plans to see the pew pew zoom film. 

  
  


“Ok my turn” Marlene was already feeling quite wobbly. They’d drunk a lot in a short period of time and she had the tolerance of a pixie. 

 

“Never have I ever gotten a T on an assignment.”

 

James, Sirius, and Peter took shots. 

 

“It was well worth it. I invented a very useful potion!”

 

“It was not worth it. It’s terribly embarrassing to get a T right after being named head boy!”

 

“At least the pair of you knew you were mucking it up. My T was the damned best I could do. Should never have taken arithmancy…” Peter lamented. 

 

“Alright Mooncakes! It’s your turn.” James said in a sing song Ogden’s soaked voice.

 

“Do  _ not _ call me mooncakes…But Alright. So… Never have I ever had a crush on a professor.”

 

“This is a vicious attack upon my character!” James fell back, dramatically raising a hand to his face as if he were a swooning heroine on the front of a trash novel. 

 

“I have to drink too” Lily mumbled at Sirius who had already poured two shots. 

 

“Lily Evans! You little harlot, spill. Which professor?” Sirius teased.

 

“Only if you two go first.”

 

“Mine was very innocent. Professor Sinistra back in 2nd year when she started at Hogwarts. She’s still quite lovely… though not as lovely as my Lily flower…” James added the last bit in haste. 

 

“I bet Padfoot had the hots for McGoggles.”

 

“That’s disgusting Wormy! Minnie’s like a mother to me. That’d be incest.”  Sirius was starting to have a hard time getting his tongue around words. Words were tricky bastards. He didn’t trust them. 

 

“Well coming from your family and all…” Remus cocked an eyebrow. 

 

“You can aaaaall go get fucked. Badly. By Samantha Clearwater. It was back in 4th year. That sexy Defense professor they borrowed from the Aurors. You’ll remember...” Sirius had to accept at that point he was losing the game. He was far enough up his tree that couldn’t remember the name of the man he’d spent several months ogling. 

 

“Yeah he was mine too… he was quite… exceptional.” Lily added. 

 

“Wait you mean Edgar Bones?” Marlene puzzled. 

 

“That’s him.”

 

Marlene dissolved into stitches. No one else was quite sure what was so funny. She must have known about Sirius’s rather pansexual inclinations before now. And it wasn’t as if anyone had just admitted to having a hard-on for Slughorn or anything. Edgar Bones was quite fit and a commanding presence to boot. 

 

Several minutes when she regained her ability to speak Marlene tried to explain between gasps of air. 

 

“Edgar… is my… brother-in-law.” She was still cracking up. 

 

“Oh for fucks sake... Now I’m really going to need that shot. Can we forget this ever happened?” Sirius said before downing his next serving of Ogden’s. 

 

“Absolutely fucking not.” Marlene was laughing at him but then she was kissing him again. He felt a bit like he was floating. But it might have been the firewhiskey... 

 

“Gross guys. Get a room.” Remus made gagging gestures. 

 

“Gladly.”

 

“Stop it, Sirius. Peter hasn’t even had a turn.” She shoved him playfully, but was still on his lap, so it was clearly half-hearted. He could see the transparent want in her eyes. They might, in truth, both be too sozzled for much right at that moment but finding a room sounded  _ deeply _ appealing.

 

“Fine then. Wormy?”

 

“Never have I ever been in love” 

 

Peter was a bit sad and jealous of his friends getting into relationships. Especially James, who seemed glued at the hip to Lily Evans since he finally wore her down. He didn’t realize what he’d done wrong when he looked up and everyone was cringing at him. 

 

“Way to put us on the spot Wormtail… I’m not sure I’m drunk enough for this.”

 

“Well I’m exactly drunk enough for this. Pour me a shot mooncakes!” 

 

James and Remus cringed at each other but Sirius was obvious. He was stupidly in love. And also drunk as a skunk. He was ready to make his dramatic declarations now. 

 

“Everyone should know. I love this Big Haired Badger who looks like a sunflower. I love yooou.” He kissed the tip of Marlene’s nose. 

 

“I love you too, you intolerable arse.” 

 

“Ooook then… that’s two shots.” Remus mumbled awkwardly as he poured. 

 

“Three.” James chimes in, feeling emboldened by both Firewhiskey and Sirius’s ridiculous display. 

 

“Four” Lily took James by the hand and met his eyes. 

 

“You don’t have to do that because I did, Lily. You’ve known how much I love you for a long time now. You know I don’t expect to hear it back. It’s just true. So… yeah. Three Moony.”

 

“When did I become the bartender in this soap opera? Wormtail you should be ashamed of yourself! You’ve got James sodding Potter talking about his feelings and those two are seconds away from going at it right in front of everyone.”

 

“We are not!” Marlene pulled away from the indeed rather intense snogging session she was having to defend herself.

 

“Four, Remus. I love you, James… I think I have for a while now. You can go into the New Year knowing that.” 

 

Remus Lupin rolled his eyes as he poured out a fourth shot and handed them out to their respective owners. He cursed his stupid wolfy tolerance to alcohol. This would have been a lot more fun and a lot less annoying if he’d been drunker. 

 

“Soooo….” Sirius’s pitch went up and down the musical scale.

 

“I think we need to um… see a man about a dog…”

 

Marlene got up and dragged Sirius up by the hand down the hall, not pausing to partake of the laughter at their expense. 


	20. Chapter 20

When Marlene woke on New Year's morning and saw the offensive sunlight shining in through the sheer window hanging, she’d never felt more grateful that she had been born with magic. The Hangover Potion she’d taken, at Lily’s behest, was probably the only thing keeping her out of Azkaban for killing something. Last night had been a doozy. She made a mental note to thank Lily and make sure to keep her around as a friend. 

 

She could hardly remember the countdown to midnight. She was fairly certain there had been some sort of philosophical discussion on the meaning of the song “Auld Lang Syne”. Her most vivid memory of the latter part of the evening was Sirius loudly proclaiming “fuck those old acquaintances! Forget them! If you’d wanted to bring them to mind they’d be here now. But they aren’t. So fuck ‘em!” 

 

She was fairly certain, upon considering it now, that Sirius’s interpretation of the lyrics couldn’t have been the intent of the songwriter. But it didn’t matter really. It had been a fun evening with Sirius and his Gryffindors. They were quite an enjoyable group, even with all their more Gryffindor-y tendencies.

 

She looked at the clock. It was past 10:30. The day was going to start without them if she didn’t get a move on.

 

When she started willing herself to stand up and go shower off the excess of the night prior, she heard growling noises. Soon those noises were joined by a pair of hands grabbing her and pulling her back into bed.

 

“Nope. Cold.” Sirius mumbled into her especially massive morning hair. 

 

“Do I look like your personal heating mechanism?” She teased, not so secretly enjoying the feeling of his bare skin pressed against her. She settled into his embrace.

 

“Mmmm. Amongst other things.”

 

He kissed behind her ear and down her neck. A sharp intake of breath encouraged him to continue.

 

“You’re making it very hard for me to get up and shower, and your friends aren’t going to like me very much if I’m unwashed as well as a trollop.”

 

“They can wait. We can shower after.” 

 

His hand grazed over her waist and hips, then wrapped around her, pulling her in even closer.

 

“After what exactly?”

 

“After I show my unwashed trollop sunflower that I meant it when I said I love you?”

 

His kisses to her neck and shoulders turned rougher, bringing on a gentle sigh from Marlene, who at that same moment realized neither of them were wearing any clothing whatsoever. It had been that sort of a night, really, so she shouldn’t have been surprised. All things considered, she was still fairly new at this whole waking up (naked) next to her boyfriend business, so she let herself off the hook for being momentarily taken aback. 

 

With his hand that was already wrapped around the front of her body, he reached down slowly, gliding gently past her navel and then between her thighs where she was already growing slick from longing.

 

He whispered devotions into her ear while he worked her up to desperation. She’d almost lost hold of her ability to form words, when a few little ones found their way out.

 

“I love you.”

 

He didn’t stop the gentle strokes of his fingers when he pressed forward, inside her. Marlene’s gasp gave way to a wanton moan as he eased into a rhythm.

 

The delicious sensation bloomed out from within her until she was completely engulfed in pleasure, crying out his name. 

 

That was his undoing. He’d never heard his own name sound so beautiful as it did coming from Marlene, just after she’d told him, in a completely sober state, that she loved him. 

 

They stayed entwined in each other’s arms for just a little while. Marlene turned to kiss him and rest her head on his chest. His arms were starting to feel like her favorite place on earth. But New Years Day was starting whether she was ready to get out of bed or not.

 

“I really do love you, you know that?” She ran her hand over the side of his face and kissed him sweetly. 

 

“Yeah. I do. And I really love you. It’s weird, right?”

 

“You’re weird.” 

 

With that he sat up and playfully threw one of the feather pillows at her. She smiled so brightly he felt like he might never be able to look away. In fact, he was fairly certain he didn’t want to. 

 

“Shower?”

 

“Definitely.” 


	21. Chapter 21

Who would have guessed that Sirius Black would be a regular at the Hufflepuff table at the start of his last term at Hogwarts?

 

At least she wasn’t a Slytherin? Really, the badgers weren’t a bad lot. They were quite friendly, just a little less showy than the Gryffindors. 

 

“Grace, I didn’t want to say anything the other night because I wasn’t sure how much you told your parents about the nature of your attack…”

 

“Gracie tells mummy everything. Mummy loves Gracie best, after all.” Marlene rolled her eyes and elbowed her sister.

 

“I don’t tell her  _ everything.  _ But I did tell them about Avery. What of it?”

 

“It’s just I think I have something that could help you, if he tries to bother you again?”

 

“You have a big arse sword or what?” Grace sounded skeptical 

 

“Oooo Marls. That would be very Gryffindor of him. I hope it’s that.” Lucan commented as if Sirius weren’t sitting right across from him listening. Only breaking the facade with a wink to Sirius afterwards.

 

“Why do I even tolerate you lot? No. It’s a potion.”

 

“The potion you invented and got a T on?” 

 

Marlene remembered mentions of it during their game on New Years Eve. There had been so much else going on that she’d forgotten to ask what all that was about.

 

“The very same.”

 

“Why on earth would I want a potion that got a T? How would that help with a death eater getting handsy?”

 

“Wait I think I recall… the one you did with Potter?”

 

“The very same, Dear Lucy. The very same.”

 

“When did you tell your boyfriend that it was ok to call me Lucy?”

 

“I dunno. But I like it, keep doing that Sirius.”

 

She planted a quick kiss on his mouth and smiled up at him. He really was… something. Things had changed a lot in the past 4 months. Sometimes eating your pride was well worth it though.

 

“What potion are you referring to? I took NEWT potions last year.”

 

“I call it essence of revulsion.”

“Ok I want to be on your side, but you aren’t making it easy.” 

 

Marlene buried her head laughing into Sirius’s shoulder. He was a ridiculous person a lot of the time. But a good one, nonetheless. He really was quite a lot like a puppy. 

 

“It was meant to be an antidote for amortentia but it turned into its own thing. It doesn’t even need to be drunk. It works topically. I used to keep a vial of it around all the time but eventually someone stole it.”

 

“Why would they want such a thing?”

 

“Probably because they found me particularly repellant on the days when I found instance to use it? It might have been pretty strong. My dorm mates had fits over it. But you see, if it could do that with me and my best mates, then surely it could help dissuade Avery?” 

 

“I suppose I could give it a go. It won’t make him any better of a person. He’s still dangerous to everyone here. I still want him gone from this school. But it might be worth it for my own personal protection.”

 

“I thought you’d see the logic in it. You’re a good egg Grace McKinnon. I knew I liked you when you told me you sister’s name.”

 

He turned his head to kiss the top of Marlene’s curls. 

 

“Wait a bloody minute… you used to use this stuff yourself you say?”

 

“Right, but I don’t have any of the original brew left now. I can brew another. I remember how it’s done and all.”

 

“No my point, and I do have one… was  _ when _ did you use your last bit of the first brew?”

 

“Well certainly not just recently! If you’re feeling repulsed at the moment that’s down to my own charming personality.”

 

“You aren’t getting the picture.”

 

“I dunno when I used the last bit. Actually... I didn’t use the last bit. I think Remus Lupin nicked it and did away with it.”

 

“Are you sure. When was that? 

 

“The last time I saw it was Early October, I’d say? It could have been any time after that. And it really could have been anyone. Or I could have just dropped it, I guess...”

 

“Like the time you knocked into my lovely baby sister in the hallway in early October and she irrationally hated you for over a month after that? Would that have been a time you could have dropped it?”

 

The realization dawning first upon Marlene and then on Sirius was a sight to behold. Grace personally thought the whole month of Marlene behaving oddly was was worth it just for that comic image.

 

After a moment's consideration Sirius shrugged his shoulders. 

 

“I guess that worked out then.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter concludes this little fic. I hope everyone reading has enjoyed it! I have really appreciated all the feedback from the very sweetest reader Destiel_Sabriel4eva. <3 I love this ship so much and you can expect more Blackinnon fic from me very soon. -PJ

The evening after returning to Hogwarts, the marauders found themselves called into Dumbledore’s office. This was not an altogether unfamiliar scenario, except this time it seemed no one was in any sort of trouble. The air around the whole thing felt different than their usual song and dance. It felt, if anything, more worrisome to be called in when they hadn’t subjected the school to one of their juvenile pranks.

 

“Are you sure we didn’t do anything, mates?” Peter asked.

 

“Pretty sure I’d remember if we had,” James rolled his eyes.

 

“I dunno. After a while it might just become habit. Like breathing.”

 

“I highly doubt that Dumbledore decided to call the lot of us in for breathing, Wormtail,” Remus drew out his friend’s nickname in a patronizing tone.

 

“Hey look. It’s the badgers.” Peter pointed out the three McKinnon Siblings coming from the opposite end of the hallway.

 

“You’ve been called in too?” Sirius leaned down and kissed Marlene on the temple.

 

“This should be interesting,” Grace McKinnon cringed. She was none too pleased about the school’s lack of action after the attack in Hosgmeade.

 

When the group arrived at the Headmaster’s office, Lily Evans awaited them at the doorway. The eight students who’d been attacked entered together as a united front.

 

“I wanted to apologize for not getting a chance to speak with him all that the end of last term. I got the full report of the attack in Hogsmeade. You all held up admirably in a situation that no student should have to face.”

 

Grace flinched. The wound she’d sustained had healed as well as could be expected but she’d always live with the scar. She’d have to look at it for the rest of her life, and remember how she was punished for saying no. Why should her attacker get to carry on as usual?

 

“Professor. I have good reason to believe that the wizard who did this to my face is a student as well.” Grace indicated the scar that she’d been left with.

 

“I will meet with you privately when we’re done here, Miss Mckinnon.”

 

The McKinnon twins met eyes. They were sure Dumbledore would be no help. He rarely was, in instances such as these. No one could remember the last time someone had actually been expelled from hogwarts. It certainly hasn’t been during Dumbledore’s time as headmaster. Someone could have died and Dumbledore still probably wouldn’t have taken any sort of action against a student. The old wizard continued on after a cursory nod at the Hufflepuff siblings.

 

“For now I wanted to inform you all of an organization I’ve been running for some time now. It’s known as The Order of the Phoenix. Our main goal is bringing down the dark wizard known as Lord Voldemort, and those who seek to give him power. After the incident in Hogsmeade, I believe that all of you have been marked as his enemies now, and I’d like to offer you opportunity to join the Order.”

 

“Will joining this Order of the Phoenix help us with defending ourselves if something were to happen again?” Marlene asked immediately, while the other students were still trying to form thoughts.

 

She didn’t love the idea of tying herself to Dumbledore after she left Hogwarts, but the danger was real. They’d seen it. She was practical and knew that war was coming.

 

True Hufflepuffs didn’t back down from fighting for a world where justice and decency prevail. It didn’t matter if it was terrifying. It didn’t matter who lead the organization. The Order of the Phoenix might have been largely Gryffindor, considering Dumbledore’s personal biases, but the hard work and persistence that Marlene and her family would bring to the cause could only serve to strengthen their defense against Voldemort.

 

“I believe it will, Miss Mckinnon. We must band together to fight this great evil that threatens the future of wizard kind.”

 

“I’m in.” She stated without hesitation. All the others followed suit.

 

“Me too.” Sirius nodded, giving Marlene’s hand a squeeze. He would have joined anyway, of course. It was absolutely unthinkable that the people in the room, which made up a list of nearly everyone he loved, would go into dangerous situations and he’d have no way to try to protect them. No, he’d be right there beside them.

 

The world just got a lot more dangerous, but they could face that danger head on, together.

 


End file.
